One Long Week
by Mamberz987
Summary: After losing a bet, Joey is forced to stay at Kaiba's mansion for a week. Can he survive, or will the two become closer than ever before? KxJ Yaoi, no like no read. Please review.
1. Prologue

**One Long Week**

**Prologue-Losing the Bet**

"Oh, _hell _no."

"Oh, come on Joey," Yugi's innocent voice pleaded. "It's only for a week." Joey was sure that the shorter teen was implementing his infamous, adorable, irresistible pout, and knew better than to look at those large amethyst eyes. Instead he focused on the surroundings of the park they were currently walking through.

_Don't look him in the eye. Focus on the trees. Look! There goes a squirrel! And look, there's a cat playing tag with it! That's so cu— _The blonde's eyes widened. After seeing the squirrel get caught by the cat that was decidedly _not_ playing tag – or had very violent methods of choosing who was _it_ - he shook his head, focusing back on the conversation at hand.

"I don't care. I'm not doing it." Folding his arms over his chest, Joey 'hmph'ed and turned his nose up at his so-called friends.

"But you lost the bet! You have to!" the shorter boy pointed out. He conveniently left out the fact that since they never shook hands on it, it wasn't legally binding. Small technicalities, you know. Besides, he kind of wanted to see what would happen if the blonde actually _did_ go through with it. And everybody thought he was the _nice and innocent_ one.

"Nope. The bet was rigged, I tell you!" Joey finally looked down at Yugi, and was slightly relieved to see an annoyed expression instead of his pleading face that he couldn't seem to say no to. He wasn't going to go down without a fight, dammit.

Yugi sighed wearily. This argument seemed to have gone on for hours, and knowing Joey's stubborn nature, it probably wasn't far off. "Joey, just admit it. You lost fair and square. Nobody forced you to agree to it. Now you have to pay the price."

Tristan grinned, clapping Joey hard on the back. "Yeah, besides, it's not that bad of a punishment. You only have to spend a week in Kaiba's house." He paused a moment, thinking to himself. "Of course, that's assuming you don't kill each other first."

Yugi promptly kicked him in the shin. "You're not helping matters any," he pouted, trying but failing miserably to look intimidating. It's hard to look scary when you're four-foot nothing and have cheeks that everybody's grandmother wants to pinch.

Yugi turned back to the blonde, trying to give Joey a reason to want to do it. "Just look at it as an opportunity to set aside your differences and try to become friends with Kaiba."

Joey raised an eyebrow. He stuck a finger in his ear to see if maybe a large ball of earwax was obstructing his ear canals, and maybe causing him to have auditory hallucinations. "I'm sorry, Yug'. I must not have heard you right, because I _thought_ you just used 'friends' and 'Kaiba' in the same sentence." He probably would have mentioned that it was an oxymoron in itself, if he knew the meaning of the word.

When Yugi looked at him expectantly, the blonde sighed irritably.

"First of all, the jerk is not capable of becoming friends. He's a robot!" Joey used this moment to wave his arms wildly about, as if to emphasize the craziness of any thought otherwise. "He has no heart at all! He'd shoot me the second I arrived on his doorstep. Second of all, what am I supposed to do? Just show up and say, 'Hey, I lost a bet with my friends, and now I have to live here for a week'? Yeah, I'm sure that will go over well. Knowing him, he'd be kind enough to shoot me again." Insert long, winded breath from ranting.

Yugi looked thoughtful. Looking back, Joey really should have started running far away, as fast as possible, when he saw that look upon his face. Of course, all hindsight is 20/20, but this should have been just a _bit_ more obvious. "Well, I guess we'll never know until you try, right?"

If Joey had been just the slightest bit observant, he would have noticed that child-like grin morph into something that was definitely more evil than cute. And Joey _really _should have known better than to trust that fake innocent voice.

Joey shook his head, dooming himself with his next words. Oh, how he would rue the day when he challenged a gaming midget and pointy-haired monkey of a best friend. "Nope. No way in _hell_. No force on heaven or earth could get me to move from this spot here." He stomped his foot down for extra emphasis, sealing his sad fate.

The other two boys looked at each other with sinister smirks on their faces. Lightning flashed in the cloudless sky. Huh, weird.

And if Joey had any bit of common sense, he would have been in a different continent by then.

Poor Joey.

"Put me down! This is _not_ cool, guys! What if somebody sees me like this! I'm the Totally-Awesome-Cool-And-Wonderful Joey! You can _NOT_ do this to me!" Said Totally-Awesome-Cool-And-Wonderful Joey thrashed about from the confines of his imprisonment in a very un-totally-awesome-cool-and-wonderful manner. And he most definitely did _not _wail like a little girl, thank you very much.

"I think you forgot to mention 'modest,' Joey." Yugi chuckled to himself. This earned him one glare of death via a pissed off blonde.

"You guys are not taking this seriously enough! This is a matter of life and death! What if somebody from school sees you guys carrying me on Tristan's shoulder on the way to Kaiba's? My reputation will be ruined!" Joey dramatically put his arm over his eyes, pretending he was about to faint from the horror.

Yugi tried to console him, assuring him that nobody would see him. Unfortunately, the mere mentioning of Kaiba's name caused legions of paparazzi spies to appear in the bushes nearby. Sadly for Joey, this moment would be caught on film by nearly two dozens cameras and at least three news stations. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Joey remained completely unaware of their presence.

And so the trio continued, Joey flung over Tristan's shoulder, with Yugi bringing up the rear while trying to engage the blonde in a conversation to lighten his mood. It wasn't really working.

"For the millionth time, I can walk you know! I'm not some two-year old who has to hold somebody's hand!" Joey continued with his tantrum.

Tristan snorted, shifting the weight on his shoulder. "We already tried that, remember? You tried to run away, but ended up falling into some poor kid's stroller and rolling down the street, knocking over an older-than-dirt granny, barely missing a moving van, and finally into an open door which _just happened_ to lead into a toy store and _oh-so-conveniently_ crashed into the display of marbles which made all the nearby customers fall and almost break their necks. Which, y'know, it not really a good thing. I don't think I want to go through _that_ again." Tristan's voice had steadily risen in volume until the end, when he was nearly yelling at his idiotic best friend.

Unfazed, Joey got a far-off, dreamy look to his eyes, remembering the incident. "I gotta admit, that was one hell of a ride!" His grin grew wider. "One day, I'm gonna get me one of those." He sighed wistfully.

Yugi raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "A stroller?" he said, unsure if he understood correctly, and needed to hear Joey confirm that he had, in fact, lost his mind.

Joey donned his wide, lopsided grin. "Yeah! Those things can get some speed!" Yep, his mind was indeed lost.

"Your idiocy astounds me," Tristan muttered to himself, once again shifting the very large weight on his shoulder that was Joey. "_And _I think you need to cut back on the sweets a little," he grumbled in complaint.

"Hey! I heard that!" Joey growled, trying to twist around to glare at the taller teen, which was rather ineffective, considering his position of hanging over Tristan's shoulder, and could only glare at the back of his head. "I oughtta— oomph!"

_Oomph_ is the sound one makes when one is tossed rather ungracefully to the concrete sidewalk, and lands just as elegantly on one's rear end.

"We're here!" Yugi chirped, cheerful as could be, completely unaware as Joey made several mental notes to exclude Yugi and Tristan from his will.

Joey's face paled as he slowly turned around to see the vast white Kaiba mansion. This was just a bad dream, and he would wake up any second, right? He pinched himself. It hurt.

Well. Shit.

"You know, guys, we can always say that this was just some kind of sick joke, and we can all go home happy, right? I mean, who cares about some stupid bet?" He chuckled nervously, praying for the best. His friends wouldn't honestly condemn him to death, right? It was just inhumane!

_Please God, help me out here, and I will __**never**__ copy off Yugi's homework again. Unless, y'know, I really need it. No, no! Never __**ever**__, just as long as you get me out of here. Deal? Okay? _

Apparently, God didn't believe in helping cheaters, or just had something against Joey in general. Yugi and Tristan each grabbed one of Joey's arms and began to pull him to the front gate, which loomed ominously overhead. Joey, of course, was dragging his heels, biting his captors' arms, and howling pitifully. It was quite the spectacle.

And, of course, the paparazzi spies caught every second of it. And one day, Joey would find out that his supposedly sweet, kind, caring sister had tape-recorded the event when it aired on national television. That soon-to-be tape would one day become her most prized possession which she would show off at every family gathering. It would also one day become Joey's goal in life to find and burn said tape of horror.

When they finally reached the entrance to the Kaiba mansion, the two 'Evil Minions of the Underworld and Certainly Not My Best Friends,' as the blonde had come to call them, were panting, and Joey was still trying to escape like a mad dog, all Kaiba jokes aside. He'd die a thousand deaths before he'd voluntarily spend time with Kaiba, dammit! Suicide was actually looking like a fine option at this point.

Yugi rang the doorbell. Realizing that there was no way to escape, and also drained of all energy, Joey finally sat on the charming doormat that clearly said 'Get Lost' on the front doorstep, and waited for lightning to strike him dead. At this point, it would be an act of mercy. He could almost hear the creepy horror-movie music in the background as he waited with baited breath.

After about three and a half seconds, Joey stood back up. "Well, the jerk's obviously not home so let's just go. Worth the shot, yeah? Too bad, because, y'know, I was _totally_ willing to do it. Being the respectable person I am. But since he's not here, it's not gonna work out. Time to go!" The blonde spun around, fully prepared to make the getaway of his life.

As if on cue, the front door slowly began to open, creaking ominously. Joey would forever deny jumping up in fright. Because that would be something a sissy little girl would do. Which he wasn't. Really. The door swung fully open to reveal icy blue eyes. A tall, slender figure leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms across the chest.

"Well, if it isn't the circus freaks coming for a visit," Kaiba sneered, adding some venom to his glare when directed at the blonde, who suddenly seemed to be sweating profusely and looking back towards the street to see if there were any merciful cars driving by he could throw himself in front of. "What do you want?" he drawled, as if the problems of mere mortals were beneath him.

Joey panicked. He couldn't go through with this. _Quick, Joey. Get yourself out of this mess with your smooth, quick thinking! _ "Uh, we just thought we'd wish you a happy birthday, Kaiba!" Joey laughed nervously. "You know, seeing as we were conveniently in the neighborhood, and all." _You sly devil, you,_ Joey mentally patted himself on the back.

Kaiba gave Joey an odd sort of stare, as though he were wondering about the stability of Joey's mental health. Apparently decided that the blonde was _not _deranged, but just an idiot, the brunette's eyes narrowed. "My birthday was three months ago, mutt."

"Oh, really?" Joey continued innocently, opting to overlook the dog insult if it got him out of his predicament any quicker. "Well, guess we'll come back in nine months. Bye!" Joey tried to make a valiant last attempt escape, he really did, but Tristan had already grabbed him by the back of his shirt. This resulted in the collar of said shirt cutting off Joey's windpipe, causing him to choke. Kaiba sweatdropped.

"Look," Yugi piped up, reclaiming Kaiba's attention. "Joey lost a bet, and we said that if he lost, he'd have to spend a week living in your mansion. You've got tons of rooms just collecting dust, and we know there's nothing he'd hate more." Yugi tried to explain, adding that last part in hopes of bribing him with Kaiba's favorite pastime: Joey Taunting.

Kaiba just gazed at the short teen in front of him, face in a deadpan stare. Then he glanced over at Joey, who was still attempting to run away, despite the kung-fu ninja death grip that Tristan still had on the back of his shirt. The blonde so far had only succeeded in cutting off his air circulation, and his face was beginning to turn a slight shade of blue. He turned back to Yugi, who looked up at him hopefully. Kaiba seemed to ponder it for a moment.

"Get off my lawn." Kaiba spun around dramatically, ready to stalk back into the mansion.

Yugi paused a second in surprise, before trying to call out to him. "But Kaiba---"

"Yugi! What are you doing here?" A cheery voice cut him off from inside the house. A mop of long black hair appeared in the doorway. Grey eyes sparkled as a young boy waved enthusiastically to the trio standing in his lawn.

Yugi waved back happily. "Hey, Mokuba." His smile turned into an uncharacteristic smirk. "Joey lost a bet, and now he's gonna stay with you for a while," he offered as explanation for their presence. Never mind the fact that Kaiba already said no, and was almost twice as tall as Yugi, and could forcibly remove him from his property just by picking him up and tossing him over the fence.

Kaiba growled. "I already said no." He mentally debated how much damage his PR would take if he decided to forcibly remove the shorter teen simply by picking him up and tossing him over the fence.

Mokuba cheered, completely ignoring the protests of his older brother. "Really? That's great! For how long? Finally I'll have someone to play with! This is the best thing ever! Don't you think that's a great idea, Big Brother?" Mokuba said all in one breath, finally turning his big, adorable, puppy eyes onto the elder Kaiba.

Kaiba folded his arms. His word was law, and the younger boy would just have to deal with the fact that Kaiba would not deal with the blonde nuisance.

The puppy eyes grew.

Kaiba's left eye twitched. No, no. He would not lose an argument to his little brother. He was the authority figure around here, and no meant _no._ Not going to happen. Ever.

The eyes grew even wider and began to form tears in the corners.

Kaiba cringed and let out a sigh. So much for authority.

Mokuba cheered and squeezed Seto around the waist, crushing the wind out of him momentarily. "Thank-you-so-much-you-are-the-best-big-brother-ever-I'll-see-you-at-dinner-bye!" And with that he instantly disappeared, breaking the sound barrier in the process.

Kaiba blankly stared at the space where his brother had been not half a second ago. He felt slightly dazed. If it hadn't been completely against his character, he probably would have muttered something along the lines of, _The hell was that just now?_ If he didn't know better, he would have thought that he had just been duped by his innocent, baby brother. But surely Mokuba would never do anything so devious. Because he was just the _sweetest_ little angel, and would never _ever_ manipulate Seto.

And readers everywhere will take a moment to laugh for the utter lie that is.

Shaking his head, Kaiba growled, "Fine, but hurry up and get inside." His eyes flashed dangerously in Joey's direction. "We wouldn't want Mokuba's new _mutt_ to catch a cold out there." He smirked, putting an emphasis on the insulting nickname he had conjured up for the blonde long ago.

Joey jumped up, finally halting his continuous escape attempt. He pointed a finger in the brunette's direction, striking a dramatic pose. "Listen up, Moneybags. I ain't no dog! And believe me, I don't wanna be here. Let me just serve my time and go home so I don't have to look at your stupid smirk again!" The blonde's face felt flushed in his anger, but he couldn't help it. As far as he was concerned, Kaiba within a fifty foot radius of his person equated to irrational fury.

Kaiba's eyes narrowed, unsure why the blonde's attitude pissed him off so much, despite the fact he was the one to start it. He took three long strides to shorten the gap between them and grabbed the front of Joey's shirt, pulling him even closer.

The blonde's eyes widened slightly. Kaiba's voice was a threatening whisper, but Joey could still feel his breath ghosting over the tip of his nose. "The mutt needs to learn how to be nice to his master," Kaiba spoke softly, but just as dangerous as ever. "I would advise you to watch your step." And with that, Seto dragged Joey into the mansion, the blonde giving a surprised yelp, and slammed the door.

Yugi and Tristan just stood in silence for a few moments, staring at the closed doors with perplexed expressions on their faces. Nothing was said for a short while until Tristan broke the silence after a couple minutes.

"Well. That was weird."


	2. Chapter One

Hello, hello to new comers and beloved old readers alike! So, this story has been posted for forever, unfinished. That is about to change! I've rewritten the chapters, so please reread them and give me your opinion on it, especially if you remember the originals. I would love to get any tips on how to further improve my writing! Anyway, for those of you that are new, this is a Seto/Joey story, with lots of crack humor in it. Why? Because its _funny._ At least to my demented brain! :D Anyway, hope you all enjoy!

**One Long Week**

**Chapter 1- Day 1**

Joey stood still, staring at the closed doors in front of him. He could feel his last chance for freedom taunting him – singing, _Na na na na, boo boo! -_ as it stood safely _outside _the confines of the Kaiba mansion. Lucky bastard.

He wondered if he could somehow sneak out the doors without Kaiba realizing it. He quickly decided against it, figuring by now Kaiba would have ordered his body guards to shoot him on sight if he tried a daring escape. He took a deep breath. Great, just great. Now he was faced with a horrific week filled with taunts, insults, and really big jerks named Kaiba. _Joy_.

He decided to go look in the kitchen for a knife to kill himself.

He turned around, with every intention of finding the closest sharp, metal object that would get the job done as quickly as possible, only to find the steely eyes of Kaiba glaring at him barely a foot away. He nearly jumped out of his skin, not expecting Kaiba to be so damn close, but decided to play it off as simply a twitch. A really bad twitch. Hell, maybe he'd feign epilepsy, if it helped convince Kaiba that Joey had most definitely _not _been scared by him. A ridiculous notion, really.

"Whadya want, Kaiba?" Joey growled, trying to put as much venom as humanly possibly into his words. Maybe he could poison him just by talking to him! He tried to send mental death vibes, just for good measure.

Kaiba scowled, unfortunately still looking in good health. The brunette's eyes narrowed. "I don't like your manners. This is my house, and you _will_ give me the proper respect, _mutt_." He gave a deadpan glare at Joey's derisive snort, which instantly shut the blonde up. Kaiba's mental death vibes were much more admirable. And probably actually worked. "Now, follow me upstairs to find you a guest room." He stomped down the hallway, leaving Joey to scramble after him if he wanted any hope of ever finding his room.

As the two walked toward the staircase, Joey stared in awe at the vast mansion. Everything was immaculately clean, from the pristine white walls to the just-as-clean carpet. It was too clean. He briefly considered the possibility of discreetly wiping off some of the dirt on the soles of his shoes into the floor. Just so he could say that he had soiled the Kaiba mansion.

As if reading his thoughts, Kaiba snapped his head around, to give another heated glare in his direction and _whoa_. He looked _pissed._ Joey instantly abandoned his train of thought. Sheesh. The guy could _read minds_. Joey was sure of it.

As the two walked further up the flight of stairs, the blonde noticed there seemed to be nobody else in the mansion, save for himself and the Kaiba brothers. He had always imagined the place bustling with maids and butlers, but it was desolate as a desert.

_Then again_, he thought with a silent snicker, _you couldn't pay me enough to come here every day to wait on this guy hand and foot_.

_Not to mention, _he added to himself,_ he's got the social skills of a stump …_

Kaiba turned around to glare again. And Joey would forever deny squeaking in what was definitely _not_ a girly fashion. Fucking mind-reader.

After finally climbing the enormous staircase, they came upon a rather spacious hallway with several identical doors on each side. Kaiba stopped, causing Joey to nearly bump into him from behind. The shorter teen quickly took a few steps back, figuring the more space between him and Kaiba, the better.

Ignoring Joey, the Kaiba motioned to one of the doors. "The one on the end leads to my study," Kaiba pointed out before gesturing at another door. "The one on the left of it belongs to me, and the one on the opposite side of the hall belongs to Mokuba. You can choose any other room. I think that should be easy enough instructions, even for a dog." Kaiba sneered, and Joey's hand twitched, as if about to punch the brunette on its own accord.

Personally, Joey wouldn't have been too angry with his hand. In fact, he might have given it a congratulatory pat.

Taking a moment to breathe, Joey nodded to himself, and deemed it safe to move without worrying about involuntarily tackling the CEO to the floor and punching his lights out. Donning his mischievous grin, he strolled up to the door right next to Kaiba's. "I think I'll take this one here." Kaiba silently raised an eyebrow in question.

Joey cheerfully explained, "This way, if I need to pee in the middle of the night, I can just ask you where the bathroom is instead of wondering around for hours and hours, and most likely end up in some secret dungeon you have." It seemed reasonable enough to the blonde, and he certainly wouldn't put it past Kaiba to have hidden torture rooms lurking around just waiting for the hapless blonde.

Kaiba smirked. "And what if I tell you that I don't deal with dogs before six in the morning and to go back to your room?" He stared at the blonde, his eyes flashing dangerously, daring him to try and challenge him.

Instead of rising to the canine bait, Joey just smiled innocently back. Using the sweetest voice he could muster, he beamed back, "Then I'll just have to pee on you. I'm not house trained yet."

Obviously not the response the brunette was expecting, Joey fully enjoyed the flustered expression on Kaiba's face, and - _what the hell?! - _was that a slight blush on Kaiba's cheek?

Joey blinked, but Kaiba had gone back to his usual stony-faced expression. Tilting his head in confusion, Joey wondered if it had even been there in the first place. It disappeared so fast, Joey wasn't sure if he even saw it. _Nah,_ Joey thought,_ I must be imagining it._ After all, a blushing Kaiba seemed as likely as a charitable Bakura, i.e. not at all.

Kaiba coughed slightly, mentally patting himself on the back for quickly regaining composure. And elsewhere in the world, Bakura screamed in bloody murder as he suddenly got the urge to give half of his stolen treasures to Goodwill.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to fix that. We can't have you soiling my good carpet." Ignoring the look on Joey's face that clearly said the blonde was trying to tell if Kaiba had just told a joke or not, the brunette opened the door to the spare room and pointed to another door inside. "That door leads to a jointed bathroom between our rooms. Don't mess it up, I refuse to tolerate with a messy puppy."

Joey just nodded dumbly, still trying to determine if Kaiba had told a joke. Granted, it was a bit of a lame one as far as jokes go, but it would still be a monumental first. Then his stomach growled, and Joey was brought out of his musings. He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Hey, Moneybags, you don't have any food on ya, do you? I'm starved! Being carried all the way over here can really take it out of you!" He patted his stomach for emphasis.

Kaiba rolled his eyes, looking much put upon, and motioned for the blonde to follow him while muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'damn garbage disposal better not eat the whole kitchen.'

After what seemed like an agonizing twelve mile trek - to the blonde because of his immense hunger, and to the brunette because he had to put up with the ravenous blonde - they finally reached the kitchen. It was at this point that Joey began to think that maybe his stay wouldn't be so bad after all.

The kitchen was _huge_, large enough to fit his entire apartment in, and best of all – _it was entirely full of food._ Joey immediately decided that any place that had this much edible junk in it couldn't be all that bad. Then Kaiba coughed behind him, bringing him out of his euphoria-induced seizure, and he realized that Kaiba's presence slightly overshadowed his food high.

Taking another look around him, the kitchen had a cozy feel to it despite its giant size. The windows had blue cloth drapes, a softly ticking clock hung on the wall nearby, and there was even junk mail strewn haphazardly across the counter. Upon closer inspection, he realized the kitchen even came complete with pictures of the Kaiba brothers on the fridge._ Oh hell, yeah. Blackmail!_

He walked up to them, and immediately found his favorite picture. Sure, there were lots of cute pictures – Mokuba losing his first tooth, the Kaiba brothers at Christmas, things like that – but _this_ one. Oh, _this one_. There were no others quite like it.

It was a very amusing snap shot. It looked like it had been from Kaiba's birthday from a few years ago, and he guessed that Mokuba had forced him into that ridiculously sparkly purple party hat, judging from the horrified look on the brunette's face. Of course, that expression could be from the fact that someone apparently had thought that a frog would make a nice present, and was in the process of landing on Kaiba's head when someone thought that it would make a _great_ Kodak moment.

Which it did. Kaiba's look of complete and utter shock was absolutely priceless.

Joey couldn't help the snicker that came out of his mouth, which was immediately followed by full out guffaws. Kaiba looked over to see what Joey was laughing at, spotted the incriminating photo, and a definite blush crept onto his cheeks. Joey made a mental note to write to Guiness World Records that he was the only non-Kaiba in the world to see him embarrassed and live to tell the tale.

_For now at least_, he added mentally, unaware as Kaiba debated to himself where he would dump the blonde's sorry corpse after he was through with it.

Kaiba gave a slight cough, and quickly took the pictures down in what he hoped was a discreet manner.

It wasn't.

There was a moment of awkward silence, where Kaiba was hopefully praying Joey would ignore his embarrassment and never mention it ever again, and Joey's brain had short-circuited due to an overflow of blackmail opportunities and innumerable future laughs at the brunette's expense.

After a few moments the blonde shook his head, remembering the dire need to feed his empty stomach, which was currently growling in a much displeased manner. It seemed to be saying something along the lines of, _Feed me, you ass, or so help me God, I will eat my way through your flesh and you'll never eat again_. Since dying by way of starvation was not very high on his life of Things I Must Do, he decided feeding his angry stomach would be a very good thing.

"So, what do you have to eat, Moneybags?" Joey asked, arms behind his head as he gazed around the kitchen. So many choices, so little time. He wondered if he could manage to eat it all before his time at the Kaiba mansion was up. He then decided his new goal in life was to literally eat Kaiba out of house and home.

Kaiba smirked evilly – or maybe smiled pleasantly, it was hard to tell. He only seemed to have the default expression of eternal displeasure with Joey's existence - and went rummaging through a cupboard under the sink. After a few muffled grunts, and a few louder curses as the brunette banged his head on the cupboard as he moved to stand back up, Kaiba reemerged holding a can behind his back.

Joey, being Joey, did not see anything suspicious about this. In fact, the only thing he could think of that he wanted food, _now_. He made this quite clear by threatening to disembowel the CEO in his sleep if he didn't get some nourishment _right this very second_.

Kaiba was all too happy to oblige, which should have tipped the blonde off. Being the lovable, dense moron that he is, he sat blissfully unaware, tapping his foot impatiently. The brunette then proceeded to open the can and pour the thick brown substance into a bowl and handed it to Joey.

"The mutt's dinner." The cobalt eyes sparkled in what could have been a mischievous manner, but was probably closer to a taunting sneer. The brunette's lips twitched upwards in just the smallest fraction of an inch, which should have sent Joey running for the hills.

Joey noticed none of this, however. What he _did_ notice was an edible _something_ placed in front of him.

Not being picky, Joey quickly grabbed a fork and dug in, crooning happily. He had just taken a huge, sloppy mouthful when he finally noticed Kaiba watching him far more eagerly than was probably good for Joey's personal health, and glanced down toward the can that was now sitting on the counter. He caught a quick glimpse of the label, which seemed to be laughing haughtily at him.

_Alpo._

That fucking bastard has just fed him _dog food._

Death was going to be had. Oh yes, it would. A slow and painful death for the bastard. And then, _life would be good_.

Before implementing any plans of a gruesome murder he may have concocted for the brunette, Joey promptly spit everything currently in his mouth all back out. Unfortunately for Kaiba, he happened to be in the line of fire and now had a large blob of slobbery…_gloop…_ dripping off of his nose. The sight was so comical that Joey decided that life was good anyway, despite the fact that Kaiba was still breathing.

There was undisturbed silence for the span of about 2.6 seconds, before all hell broke loose.

Mokuba happened to walk in the kitchen just then, but after looking at both his brother, who was definitely _not_ in his happy place and trying to strangle the life out of a certain blonde, and Joey, who was laughing so hard despite the death grip around his neck that he had started to choke on his fork, the raven-haired kid walked right back out.

Sometimes, you were just better off not knowing.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2- Day 2**

After Kaiba cleaned off the half-digested dog food from his face, he decided that getting real food for the blonde would be beneficial for his own mental state. After all, having Joey-germs sprayed across his face was not very high on list of Things I Must Do Before I Die.

Joey, of course, requested (read: _demanded_ by means of threatening to shave off Kaiba's eyebrows in his sleep if his needs weren't met) a disgusting blob of grease smothered in cheesy goo and tomato gunk, also known as pizza. It was also covered in every topping known to mankind. And a few others that no decent human being would even think to eat. Joey ate it all happily.

Upon Kaiba's comment on the inedibility of the food, Joey had decided that it would be a good time to redecorate Kaiba's kitchen and face. For the second time in the past hour, the brunette found slimy food dripping from his nose. Kaiba immediately decided it wasn't one of his favorite feelings.

The once immaculate room - and the brunette - now resembled a battle zone.

The spoils of war: The stripping of Kaiba's dignity.

The victor: The "All-Mighty" Joseph Wheeler.

Choice of Weapon: Nuclear Pizza.

The two boys sat on the kitchen floor, panting. One blonde was laughing breathlessly, while a brunette was glaring daggers at said laughing blonde. When the pair had regained their breath, Kaiba walked over to a closet and took out a broom and mop. Silently handing one to the blonde, they quickly set to work on cleaning.

Surprisingly, Joey did not complain. Though that could have something to do with the fact that Kaiba's glare said something along the lines of _If you value your organs inside of your body and your head connected to your neck, you __**will**__ do exactly what I say. My word is law, and you will clean your mess._

Joey began to clean his mess.

After a few moments of frenzied mopping – how the hell did _raw eggs _get on the floor? He only threw _pizza_, for pete's sake! – Joey took a moment to glance at the tall brunette who didn't seem very happy about having to clean. More surprising than the fact the brunette hadn't called on a maid to do the job for him was the fact that he had not yelled at him for being a clumsy, messy mutt, or something of the sort.

_This has got to be one of my more…odd…experiences. Who would have imagined that I'd be cleaning with Kaiba? Plus, we're not even really fighting…well, not yet anyway…_ Joey stood still in his silent reverie until the taller teen threw a wet rag at the blonde's face. Joey growled. _Oh, it's __**on**__, Kaiba-boy. _

This resulted in Joey throwing a soapy sponge at Kaiba, and almost caused Kitchen War II. Mokuba, however, had walked into the kitchen once more – and not a second too soon, as Kaiba had just decided that the butcher knife would be a pleasant choice of ammunition - and suggested that they watch a movie later that night. He turned his pleading eyes to his brother, silently begging him not to kill his new toy (read: Joey).

Kaiba just gave a half grunt, very reluctantly putting the knife back, and the slightest nod of approval. After all, who could say no to Mokuba? Joey jumped up and down in excitement – _Theater-sized plasma screen TV, here I come! -_ but his foot managed to slip on a particularly large piece of pepperoni still stuck on the floor.

A moment later, after blinking the stars out of his eyes and watching all of the pretty Kaibas flittering above his head, Joey briefly wondered how he ended up on the floor. Then he decided that he didn't care. Watching a bunch of Kaibas with wings and pink tutus flying above his head was disturbingly amusing. Pretty Kaiba ballerinas floating above his head. It was kind of like one of those cartoons, when a character falls on their head and suffers a concussion…Joey paused. Wait a second. That probably was not a good thing.

Suddenly the real Kaiba appeared over him, blocking out some of the light from above, forming an ethereal halo around his head. He was wearing a look of concern, something that seemed highly unnatural of his face. The muscles seemed to be spasming in protest. In fact, Joey was sure that he was imagining it, and could be evidence that he may have a concussion.

"Are you alright? I think you might have blacked out for a few seconds. You were staring into space." Joey frowned. He was also imagining the sound of a concerned Kaiba. Also pointing towards the possibility of a concussion.

Joey blinked. "Actually, I was just thinking that you would make a nice ballerina." Then he clamped his mouth shut, unable to believe he said that out loud. Yep, it was official. He had a concussion and killed off the last few brain cells he had left, because there was no way in hell he would ever say _that_ if he were lucid.

Kaiba's look of shock and horror at such a mental image was enough to console Joey from the loss of his brain cells. It even put him in a good enough mood to want to get up from his comfortable position on the floor.

Joey was disappointed once again, however, when Seto's haughty smirk came sliding back into place on his face.

"I should have guessed that a fall like that would have destroyed what few brain cells you have left, mutt," the brunette sneered, unaware of Joey's previous deduction. "I guess it's my fault, though." At this, Joey's jaw dropped at the seemingly apology. Forget the concussion, he must be in a _coma_ or something. Or dead. Dear God, he was too young to die! No way would Kaiba actually _apologize_ in real life.

However, Kaiba continued, "I suppose the master will have to take better care of his pet. Puppies, after all, can't be expected to look after themselves." Joey resisted the urge to growl like an insulted puppy. So it wasn't a real apology. Well, at least Joey knew he wasn't dead, after all.

Joey was about to jump Kaiba for that remark, but a slight cough from behind him made him stop. The raven-haired brother put his hands on his hips impatiently, after waiting so long for the two to stop fighting. "I want to watch a movie," he complained, lip sticking out in a pout. It was such an adorable look that the two teens caved in instantly.

Seto and Joey glanced at each other and silently decided to call it a temporary truce. For Mokuba's sake. Mokuba cheered and ran out of the room, his whooping cheers echoing behind him. Kaiba and Joey walked through a few halls and up a flight of stairs at a much slower pace, and finally came to a room that sent Joey right back into fits of glee.

Like the kitchen, and most likely every other room in the mansion, it was gigantic. There was a giant leather three-seater couch, a dark blue like everything else in the house, a very large high-tech TV – Joey cheered inwardly – and_ Kaiba's own personal Blockbuster_. The entire wall was filled with movies! Joey could almost feel his eyes popping out of his skull. Seriously, the brunette must have had every DVD known to man!

"Am I in heaven?" he whispered in awe, eyes still bulging. He glanced over at Kaiba, as if to make sure he wasn't dreaming, who didn't seem to appreciate having the blonde drool all over the rug beneath their feet. Deciding this was, in fact, real, Joey let out a war cry before running over to the case to wage battle against the numerous choices that lay before him.

Scrambling to the top of the video case, he proceeded to inspect each and every movie. Starting from the very top, he pulled the movies out one by one, tossing them haphazardly over his shoulder. And he could have been a baseball player in a past life, because those DVDs had some _speed_ to them.

Every now and then the Kaiba brothers could hear the blonde mumbling comments to himself as movies arched through the air. They turned to stare blankly each other and eventually shrugged. What else could they do? And it wasn't like the blonde had broken anything or hurt anyone. And then a flying DVD whizzed past Kaiba's face, just half an inch from his nose, with enough force to take down a small elephant.

"Would you watch it?" Kaiba growled harshly, only to earn another video to the eye. Now it was the brunette's turn to lie on the ground, blinking back stars. After a second or two, he attempted to get back up, but decided to duck for cover behind the couch after another DVD shaved off a few hairs from his head. How the hell did they get sharp?! He quickly grabbed Mokuba and ran for it.

Spotting the spacious couch – _Ha! Sanctuary! – _the poised, dignified, multi-billionaire CEO of a worldwide prestigious company took a bodily leap and dived headfirst into safety.

As the two brothers regrouped – Kaibas _never_ cowered, which they definitely were _not_ doing, mind you - behind the very large piece of furniture, they could hear loud crashes as the sounds of very expensive things shattered into millions pieces of worthlessness. Kaiba could only cringe at the idea of the damage Joey had caused.

"Yes!" Joey cheered. Kaiba peaked cautiously over the blue upholstery, fully ready to duck back down if the projectiles had not stopped, to find Joey holding his prize covetously. Apparently Joey had gone through every movie in the house, effectively obliterating every moment of hard work Kaiba had put into alphabetizing the entire bloody thing.

The carpet was virtually invisible, and all that could be seen was an endless sea of various movie cases. Joey grinned and held up his trophy, the movie _Zoolander_, the only one that had not been carelessly tossed to the floor. Kaiba had a strong suspicion that Joey only picked that movie because it was the last movie left in the case that had _not_ been used to try to take out the brunette's eye.

Kaiba sighed wearily, but dutifully cleared a path to the couch. Mokuba cheered excitedly, and ran back to the kitchen to make a large bowl of popcorn. Joey and Kaiba glanced at the couch, which would comfortably sit three people, and quickly grabbed opposite ends of the couch. There was no way the two would ever willingly sit next to each other!

The time it took for Mokuba to return with snacks was filled with an awkward silence between the two teens. When the shorter boy returned, he sighed at the two boys practically sitting on their respective armrests to put as much distance between them. Mokuba sat in the middle, coaxing the two teens closer with the promise of sharing his popcorn. Joey was instantly right beside Mokuba, eagerly plunging his hand into the bowl of buttery goodness. The brunette dimmed the lights and the three were plunged in darkness.

The movie started, and everybody was laughing – well, a blonde and a raven-haired kid were laughing, and one stoic brunette was glaring ahead at the TV screen - and enjoying their selves. Joey was enjoying the popcorn very much—it tasted just like the movie theater stuff. Joey wouldn't doubt for a second that he had an actual popcorn machine just like in the theaters. He was definitely rich enough to afford it. Joey, not about to pass up the opportunity to make good on his promise to eat Kaiba out of house and home, was taking very large handfuls from the bowl about every two seconds.

After half the bowl had been depleted, Joey paused a moment to breathe. "You haven't eaten any," Joey pointed out to Kaiba.

"You've eaten enough for both of us," he shrugged nonchalantly. He didn't bother to mention the valid theory that if he were to stick his hand in the line of attack, he was very likely to lose a finger - or even a whole hand - to Joey's insatiable appetite. Little did he know, that is _exactly_ what would have happened. Never come between a hungry blonde street punk and his salty, buttery world of popcorn goodness.

Joey pouted, slightly disappointed that no one seemed willing to eat the popcorn with him, and turned back to the movie. A few seconds later, however, he found himself grinning when Kaiba took a handful of the buttery substance. The slender brunette was pleasantly surprised at how delicious it was, and took another. Joey inwardly cheered, but didn't seem to notice the small smile that crept onto his own face.

The two continued to eat on in companionable silence, totally unaware of the smirk on Mokuba's face as he watched the two eat on in companionable silence, for about ten more minutes, until Kaiba and Joey both reached for the last handful at the same time.

Their fingertips brushed against each other slightly, enough for Kaiba to register that his hands were _really_ greasy and would definitely need to wash them, but in that one split second, both felt a shock of electricity jolt up their arms. They looked at each other, a clash of cold blue against warm honey, and as their eyes locked Joey felt himself wondering why he hadn't moved his hand yet.

Mokuba sneezed, inwardly groaning at himself, and the moment was broken. Kaiba hurriedly turned the other way, coughing into his hand in a slightly dignified manner.

Joey, however, being the rash person that he is, handled his embarrassment in an entirely different manner. By filling his mouth so full that he would not be able to say anything to make this moment even more awkward. He scooped every last bit of the popcorn and stuffed it into his mouth. In his embarrassment, he forgot to chew – come on, this is _Joey_ here. It could happen - and started to choke.

Mokuba and Kaiba rushed to Joey's aid – and by this I mean that Mokuba ran to help the poor blonde, while Kaiba stood in the background muttering about foolish mutts - as his face began to turn blue for the second time that day. After a lot of heavy patting to the back, Joey finally managed to swallow. He took several gulps of sweet blessed air.

Kaiba's eyes narrowed. "You're a hazard to yourself. I don't know how you've managed to survive this far." He inwardly tried to convince himself the only reason he would care if Joey choked to death was that he didn't want to deal with the hassle of so much paperwork. Yeah. That was why.

Joey's eyes flared up in response, filled with his fiery energy. He had every intention of telling Kaiba where, exactly, he could shove his stupid opinions. Before he could respond, however, Kaiba stood up briskly, very carefully not looking at those burning eyes, and brushed off his clothes.

"I think we should all go to bed. It's been a very long and tiring day. For _all_ of us," he added, finally gracing the blonde with a sneer. With that, Kaiba strode up to his room, not glancing back. Joey and Mokuba, still sitting on the couch, looked at each other, and shrugged. They might as well do the same.

Up in Kaiba's room, the brunette typed incessantly and furiously on his laptop. What was he thinking, taking in the stupid mutt for an entire week? He wasn't sure if his sanity would be able to handle it. His deep blue eyes scanned over the screen as he analyzed his report, and a flash of burning honey eyes flashed in his mind.

He stopped for a few moments, staring into nothing. He thought of the blonde's rambunctious laugh, and his incorrigible energy. And he thought of greasy, buttery fingers touching for the briefest moment. He held up his hand that had touched Joey, and just stared confusedly at it.

Up in Joey's room – which, of course, was freaking huge! – the blonde was getting dressed in his pajamas. He slid the cotton pants over his hips, and struggled to fit his tank top over his mop of messy hair. He walked around the room, whistling to himself appreciatively. Kaiba sure didn't hold back with his decorating budget!

He paused in front of a hanging mirror, and looked at himself. He reflected over the day, and was surprised to find that it wasn't half bad. He looked at his reflection, talking softly to himself.

"This was definitely a weird day, but you know, it was actually kinda fun with Kaiba." The blonde paused, and stiffened. Wait just one second. Rewind. Play. _Fun_. As in, _with Kaiba_.

His eyes widened considerably, realizing what the hell he had just said. Fun. And Kaiba. Used together in the same thought.

Oh God.

He ran into the bathroom to wash his mouth out with soap.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter 3- Midnight Interlude**

Seto Kaiba sighed irritably for the twenty-seventh time in the past - he checked his watch - forty-seven minutes and twenty-three seconds. Putting down the book he had been trying diligently, but failing horribly, to read, he looked up once again at the closed door that lead to the joined bathroom he shared with his new…_pet_. He smirked to himself, thinking of how easy it was to bait Joey. He really couldn't put into words the enjoyment that came from riling the fiery blonde. He decided not to dwell too long on the reasons behind _why_ he only wanted those intense chocolate eyes of his on him.

_Speaking of the blonde_, Seto thought curiously, returning his focus to the door._ What the hell is he __**doing**__ in there?_ After all, it had now been forty-eight and fifty-two seconds.

Said mutt had been in the bathroom for what was getting close to being an hour, and if he was correctly interpreting the gurgling sounds coming from the other side of the door, using a hell of a lot of mouthwash for God knows why. He had briefly entertained the hope that maybe the blonde was drowning himself in the toilet, or bathtub, or sink (he wasn't picky. Whatever got the job done, you know) but after hearing the blonde spitting in the sink, realized he was doing some heavy duty cleaning of his mouth. He didn't want to know why.

Being the kind-hearted, caring, compassionite person that he is – and here, the reader will take a moment to snort in disbelief, because Kaiba may be a lot of things, but delusional had not previously been on that list - Seto had stormed to the door after the first ten minutes, pounding the door down, yelling for all the world to hear for the mutt to "stop wasting all the goddamn Listerine."

When the only response he got was Joey muttering something about the _horror of it all_, and that he must be possessed by demons from the underworld and had taken over his thoughts, Seto decided to open the door to see if he was all right. It wasn't because he _cared_ about the mutt's well being, alright? It was only because he needed to know if he should put up some extra locks on his door if the blonde had suddenly turned deranged and decided to come after him in a psychopathic homicidal rage.

All he got for his concern, however, was a rude kick to the jaw, and some more yelling about the world coming to an end.

And so Kaiba sat on his bed, rubbing his abused jawbone and decidedly _not_ sulking about the matter, and debated whether or not he should brave the wrath of the hysterical blonde once more. After all, fifty-one minutes and seventeen seconds was really long. After a few moments though, he realized that the light to the bathroom had gone out and all he could hear was blissful silence, save for the ticking of the clock on his mahogany bedside table.

He looked over to check the time, and was surprised to find that it was nearly one in the morning. The CEO closed his eyes, tenderly massaging his temples, willing sleep to overcome him. As if it wasn't bad enough he had to put up with the mutt during the day, now he couldn't go to sleep because of him. He groaned, flopping back onto his bed, thinking of how he would have to be up in only four hours.

He gave another sigh, and took one last look about his room. _Maybe Mokuba's right….I really need to decorate more._ He had never really felt a need for personal luxuries in his own room. He spent most of his time in his office anyway. The mutt just happened to be lucky that he was on vacation for a week. Though, this was definitely not how he planned his time off turning out.

Beside his alarm clock stood a picture of him and Mokuba from a time when they were much younger, when the younger kid still needed help on his spelling tests and he himself had been considerably more carefree. It sat delicately on his bedside table in an ornate silver frame, where it faced the side of the bed. The corners of Kaiba's mouth turned upward in the smallest smile as he gazed upon it.

Continuing his impromptu inspection of his barren room, he glanced over to the dresser, sitting under a large mirror. It was made of the same glossy wood as the bedside table. The only other piece of furniture was his desk, where his laptop sat humming quietly. The bare necessities. He never had any need for anything else. Giving a big yawn, he turned off the light and crawled back into his large fluffy bed, his last thoughts wondering if Joey's bedroom was as empty as his, or crammed to the brim with all sorts of sentimental junk.

Meanwhile, one room over, Joey flopped onto the bed, curling into a ball on top of the deep magenta covers. He normally would have taken that moment to revel in the fluffy softness of the material, if his mouth hadn't felt like it had just been decimated by a gallon of acid. His mouth tingled –hell, more like it _burned_ - and he was _sure_ that the Listerine had eaten a hole through his tongue, or at least turned it raw for a month. As drowsiness began to overtake him, just before he drifted off to sleep he numbly thought that he should probably stay in bed for the rest of the week, just to preserve his sanity. Spending too much time with Kaiba couldn't be good for his mental health.

Too bad that isn't what happened. Joey would probably never make a full recovery.

After a couple hours of fitful dreams about popcorn and cold, staring blue eyes, Joey found himself suddenly sitting upright in his bed. He also found himself realizing he _really_ had to pee. Giving a prolonged groan that clearly stated he'd rather still be fast asleep, he quickly trudged over to the door to the connecting bathroom. He gave a long happy sigh as he began to relieve himself.

Meanwhile, Seto was also having restless dreams, though of a _very_ different sort. To protect the readers, we won't go into explicit detail. Instead, we'll just say they happened to involve a certain blonde, a skimpy puppy costume, and a leash. Waking up with a start, he was horrified to find a certain… _problem_ that males usually experience when dealing with someone they find very attractive.

The only problem was, Kaiba did _not_ find Joey attractive. Not _at all_. _Mokuba was right_, he thought. _Working too hard really __**has**_ _made me lose my mind._ He growled, vowing to take vacations more often if this was the effect working was going to have on his brain, as he got up from his bed, in nothing but silky black boxers, heading to the bathroom to take care of male problem.

In the bathroom that Kaiba was currently walking towards, Joey was whistling a happy little tune to himself, which sounded suspiciously like _The Song That Never Ends_, as he finished going to the bathroom. He then heard the door creak open ominously behind him, so he did what any other testosterone-filled male would do. The surrounding neighbors all jolted awake by the blonde's shriek. But he wasn't scared. Joey Wheeler never got scared. _Really_. No. _**Really**_.

Although, what he did see next made him double over with laughter. In fact, he would later bill Kaiba Corp. for the medical expense of his ruptured spleen from laughing too hard.

There was Seto Kaiba frozen in the doorway, looking like a deer caught in the headlights – or perhaps a fish, the way his mouth kept opening and closing in silent horror - standing there with an all-too-obvious bulge in his boxers. His face turned from white to tomato red within a split second, setting a new world record in speed, and his eyes narrowed at the hysterical blonde. Seto took a menacing step toward him. He could always worry about where to dump the soon-to-be corpse later.

Joey's laughter died as he noticed the brunette's twitchy hands slowly making their way to his neck, and realized he should probably hightail it out of there, though the mile wide grin remained plastered to his face.

He slowly backed into his room – he saw on the discovery channel never to make sudden movements around dangerous beasts, and he was in front of the most dangerous of them all – while still leering at the embarrassed, and doubly furious, brunette. Before he could be strangled, he reached the safety of his room, slamming and locking the door between himself and the brunette – adding his dresser as a barricade for good measure - but not before _oh-so-innocently_ asking Seto if he was having sweet dreams. Because, you know, _obviously_ he was.

Joey laughed hysterically to himself, crawling back into bed, and thanked God for such a funny memory. Pulling the covers up to his chin, he fell asleep with a grin on his face as he permanently imprinted the image of Kaiba with a hard on into his brain. His last thoughts before drifting back to sleep were, _That would have been another great Kodak moment. Too bad I didn't have a camera...Kaiba has very nice abs. I should ask him where he works out..._

And he suddenly sat back up in bed, realizing the full consequences of pissing off the richest man in the world with access to professional hit men and enough money to buy off any judge.

_Shit_.

_I'm gonna die tomorrow..._


	5. Chapter Four

**One Long Week**

**Chapter 4- Day 2**

Seto sat at the kitchen table, fully clothed in jeans and a crisp white dress shirt - as opposed to the skimpy boxers he had been caught in the night before - angrily flicking through the morning paper. _Flicking_, however, might be an understatement, as the movement caused the page he was trying to read to rip in half.

So maybe he was taking his anger out on an inanimate object. He felt it was well justified. Besides, he figured Mokuba wouldn't approve very much of the blonde's slow and painful murder. So _too bad for the newspaper_.

He hadn't gotten much sleep after "The Incident," as he decided to call it – he refused to call it "The Night Where Joey Caught Me About To Masturbate To A Dream About Him" because, seriously. _Totally_ not true - from the night before. So he sat there, glaring at the innocent newspaper with angry eyes, willing it to combust from the sheer intensity of his displeasure with the world in general at the moment.

It did no such thing, of course.

He had tried to hide under the bed covers when he first awoke that morning – and even contemplated buying a flight to Canada for the rest of his week's vacation. Hell, maybe even the rest of his _life_. - refusing to think of the inevitable encounter with Joey that would soon be coming. It had worked for a short while, until he got bored from sitting there doing nothing. One can only be entertained by staring at the ceiling for so long.

When realizing that he had wasted an entire hour of just lying there - it was then five in the morning, which proved that Kaiba was, in fact, a robot because who wakes up at such an ungody hour such as that? - he decided that he couldn't take the suspense any longer and crept downstairs James Bond style to get breakfast, making sure that if he _did_ run into the mutt on the way, he would take him out secret agent style.

Of course, no one else was awake. Ungodly hour, remember? Although, he _was_ caught on security cameras – Kaiba had them installed a while back to help with his paranoia - as Mokuba was pleased to find later. Supremely pleased, in fact, as the little boy would use the ruthless business finesse he inherited from his elder brother to ensure that his allowance was increased by 300%, lest the footage happen to make its way onto the internet.

Which, as the raven-haired kid would happily point out, would shatter the brunette's reputation beyond any hope of any recovery.

Kaiba would then increase his allowance by a thousand times over.

And so the surly CEO sat at the table, sullenly sipping his coffee, mentally blaming Joey for his precious hour of wasted time that could have been spent doing his evil bidding. As one of the most powerful people in the world, he had a lot of evilness that needed bidding. Or whatever.

Suddenly, Kaiba's back stiffened and every muscle in his body tightened and he grasped the newspaper so hard his knuckles turned white. The newspaper itself also finally burst into flames. Kaiba then released said burning ball of fire.

He could hear the troublesome puppy slinking down the stairs, no doubt trying to sneak up on the brunette. Why the blonde apparently had a death wish, he was not sure.

Kaiba had to admit though, it was a pretty good attempt to sneak up on him. For the blonde, at any rate. One must consider the source. Though, Kaiba would probably need to review the definition of 'sneaking quietly' with the blonde, as he obviously had it mixed up with 'trapiezing down the stairs so loudly it would wake up people fifty miles away.'

Kaiba heard the blonde continue down the staircase – and was that the Mission Impossible theme song he was humming? - until the clumsy mutt missed a step and toppled down and crashed into the coffee table, knocking down an _expensive_ glass vase full of flowers and dirty plant water, all over his head.

Honestly, how had the klutz managed to _not_ kill himself for the past eighteen years? He was a hazard to anyone within a ten mile radius of his person.

Seto's usual arrogant smirk found its way back onto his face as he heard the blonde approaching, darkly muttering something along the lines of 'evil flowers of _doom_.' Kaiba found himself suddenly glad he _had_ decided to buy those man-eating Venus Flytraps. Best things _ever_.

Joey could be heard approaching closer, starting to add expletives to his constant muttering. Apparently, the blonde was not a morning person. And that little fact made Kaiba slightly happier with the world.

Looking up, he was graced with an image of what appeared to be a soggy mutt. He hardly appeared human, what with his shaggy hair clinging to his skin and covering those eyes he knew were burning in irritation. Kaiba scowled deeply as he found himself watching a drop of water make its way down the curve of Joey's cheek.

The pajamas, though, were probably not helping Joey convince Kaiba of his non-canine heritage. The fabric had been printed with little puppies that could only be described as _cute_, a fatal blow to any boy's masculinity.

The pajamas were, of course, courtesy of one Seto Kaiba, who was all too happy to let the blonde borrow them. In fact, he had actually sent the butler to go out and buy those specific pajamas for him. Out of the kindness of his own heart.

Kindness. _Right_.

Joey walked right next to Kaiba who, finally managing to tear his eyes away from that drop of water that was now hanging precariously from the blonde's chin, only shook his head and muttered, "Typical mutt."

The blonde turned around with every intention to yell about him being a stuck up asshole, only to find cerulean eyes sparkling in mischief. Any insult the blonde might have had died on his tongue immediately. He froze, and tilted his head slightly as he studied the brunette confusedly.

Kaiba actually looked like he was _enjoying_ himself.

_Holy shit_. A sure sign that the end was nigh, if there ever was one.

Joey stopped in his tracks and just stared flatly at him. He was finding it very hard not to get lost in those eyes. Funny how he had never noticed that before. He was surprised they were an attractive shade of blue when they weren't narrowed in anger, or thinking of evil plots, or sneering at the blonde, or doing anything that was remotely related to Kaiba.

He violently shook his head to get rid of any kind of thoughts that would raise some questions he wouldn't want to know the answer to. The movement resulted in a certain brunette being splattered with said dirty plant water. Surprisingly, Kaiba was _not_ very happy about that.

Glaring ocular fire at the blonde - who _did_ apologize, though the shit-eating grin on his face gave away the lie – Kaiba stomped over to a cupboard in the kitchen to grab a towel to mop his face with. Joey's grin grew wider as Kaiba turned back around to scream about his nice, expensive clothes being ruined. In fact, as Kaiba was kind enough to list the _exact_ dollar amount that he had spent on said ruined clothes, Joey's face lit up like a kid who has been told that Christmas was coming early this year.

Kaiba's eyebrow twitched violently.

_Murder is bad, murder is __**bad**__. People won't want to buy video game products from a company that __**kills**__ people_. Kaiba had to remind himself, to ensure the blonde's safety. Otherwise, Joey would not be in a state where he was not so much breathing.

Finally, Seto finished griping about his loss of clothing – Joey had almost sentenced himself to death when he asked if the CEO would like some cheese with his whine - and Joey pointed out that he probably had his own mini-mall located somewhere in the mansion where he could get more clothes from. Which, not surprisingly, Kaiba agreed too.

Joey made a mental note to swipe Kaiba's credit card and go on a shopping spree later.

With a huff that said he felt very much put upon by the other's presence, Kaiba flopped back into his seat at the kitchen table. After a moment's hesitation if it would be safe to join him, Joey sat down as well. He turned his eyes onto the slender teen before him, and studied him carefully.

Kaiba dutifully ignored him.

After a few moments of silence, Joey said, "You know, now I owe Tea twenty bucks." Kaiba finally turned to grace Joey with a deadpan glare, and waited for clarification. It didn't come.

Kaiba raised his left eyebrow at the seemingly random piece of information. "Oookay, and that matters to me because…?" his voice trailed off into a question, as if Joey's ramblings were too insignificant to deem an entire sentence.

"It's all your fault, too." Joey glanced at him from the corner of his eye surreptitiously, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards slightly. "Because you proved me wrong."

Seto just blankly stared at Joey, waiting for the blonde to elaborate. One minute grew into two, with turned into ten. By this point, Joey had effectively killed any sort of suspenseful tension he might have been aiming for.

When Joey didn't continue, Kaiba raised his left eyebrow elegantly. "And what, exactly, were you wrong about?"

Joey took a deep breath, and Kaiba cringed as he realized a long-winded rant was coming.

"Well, you see, I bet Tea that you weren't really human, and were actually a robot in disguise with artificial intelligence - which is why you're so freakishly smart – that came from another planet, and were really planning to take over the world, and that's why you don't actually talk to any of us, because whoever designed you didn't think that you needed social skills, because you _obviously_ have none whatsoever."

Joey took another deep breath.

Seto just stared. And stared. And stared some more, just for good measure.

After an eternity, Kaiba finally blinked. "Well, that was stupid."

And Joey laughed. Hard. He wasn't sure why it was so funny. Perhaps it was the absurdity of having the conversation with _Seto Kaiba_. Maybe the rarity of having a civil conversation with him was too much for his poor mind. All he knew was that something about the situation was just too comical. He missed the slight blush on the brunette's face as Kaiba realized he slightly enjoyed listening to the breathless laughs.

After Joey's laugh quieted into soft chuckles, he was able to catch his breath. "Yeah, I know, but at the time it seemed pretty logical to me."

Kaiba was about to point out that absolutely _no_ part of that could ever be deemed logical, but then he paused. This was _Joey_, after all.

Once again, Kaiba raised the eyebrow. "Let me guess. At the time you had probably consumed about five boxes of pocky, and the following sugar rush impeded the flow of what few remaining cells you have to your brain."

Joey's eyes grew huge. "How'd you know?" he whispered conspiratorially. "That's exactly how many boxes of pocky I had!" He lowered his voice even more, and leaned in conspiratorially. "Are you spying on me, Kaiba?"

Kaiba turned a pretty shade of pink, and spluttered an indignant denial. Joey wasn't buying it. He was on to that sneaky bastard and his little spying cameras.

"Anyways," he said, changing the subject with a slightly flustered cough, "just what made you realize I am indeed human?"

"Well," Joey drawled, looking thoughtful. He glanced at the brunette from the corner of his eye, and smirked. "First of all, there's the fact that you were teasing me about ten minutes ago. Not being mean, or calling me names, but actually having some _fun_." He paused, and frowned slightly. "You _do_ know the meaning of fun, right?"

Joey quickly dodged the dictionary thrown his way. Where Kaiba pulled it from, he would never be able to guess.

Kaiba's left eyebrow spasmed viciously. He tried hard to keep the growl out of his voice. "Of course I know what it means, you twit. I'm not as heartless as you seem to think," he said curtly. He dutifully ignored the respondent snort from the blonde.

Joey just smiled and leaned back in his chair. He gave a large, dreamy sigh. "Miracles never cease to exist, do they?" He grinned cheekily at the brunette.

Joey never did make a full recovery after not being able to dodge the full set of A through Z encyclopedias that came flying through the air. Seriously, where was Kaiba _getting_ these?

Feeling slightly satisfied with his aim, Kaiba decided to continue their conversation. He waved his hand in dismissal, as if Joey's brain injuries were inconsequential. "Fine, fine. What was your second reason?"

Joey blinked, having completely lost track of what was happening, and replied intelligently, "Whuzzah?"

Kaiba resisted the urge to throw more things. The blonde's ignorance was really trying. He wrenched his mind away from trying to figure out if he could somehow use the entire bookshelf as a projectile.

"Earlier, you said 'First of all…' About why you came to the sudden conclusion that I am _not_ something from a second-rate sci-fi movie. What's your 'Second of all...?'" Kaiba massaged his temples gently, and chanted a silent mantra in his head.

_I will not kill Joey. I will __**not**__ kill Joey. It is against my morals to kill anyone with the IQ of a rock. __**I will not kill Joey**__._

Kaiba could almost picture the light bulb over Joey's head as he gasped. "Oh! Right!" He nodded excitedly, "Yeah! I remember now!"

A rock indeed. More like the IQ of a moldy piece of swiss cheese. Kaiba rolled his eyes, waiting for the answer.

Joey's eyes shifted from left to right, as if to spot an eavesdropper lurking out of sight. He then leaned in to make the gap between the two virtually nonexistent. He brought his mouth down to whisper into the shell of the brunette's ear. Kaiba barely caught himself before he moaned as Joey's breath ghosting over his ear sent a shiver down his spine, and he could almost _feel_ those lips brushing over his skin in a feather-like caress. He growled internally at the direction his thoughts were turning.

The blonde's voice lowered into what Joey thought was a conspiratorial tone, though Kaiba found it to be more along the lines of sultry. "Well, I figured that a robot wouldn't have such," the blonde paused, trying to find the right word, "_explicit_ dreams like the ones you were _obviously_ having last night."

Kaiba's face turned a deep magenta, knowing full well what the blonde was referring to, as Joey ran back up the stairs cackling like a deranged witch.

Kaiba's hand spasmed – it was _not_ trembling, okay? – as he reached for his cup of coffee. He forced himself to breath deeply, as he suddenly realized that he hadn't been breathing at all previously.

He slowly took another sip of coffee. He willed himself not to think about the blonde's words, or the way his breath made his skin tingle and his body shiver.

Nope. Not going to think about it. Not _one bit_. Even if the tingling feeling had yet to go away. Definitely _not_ thinking about it.

The brunette's leg convulsed. His poor nerves.

Sighing resignedly, he turned around to go back to bed.

It was too damn early to be up.


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter 5-Day 2**

Several hours later, Kaiba's mood had yet to improve. In fact, if anything else, it had probably worsened as the seconds ticked sluggishly on. He resisted the urge to groan, wondering when this day would ever end. He checked his watch, and was horrified to realize it was still only early afternoon. He looked frantically around to see if he could spot something that he could use to end his misery. Something sharp preferably, though even blunt would be fine. He wasn't going to be picky.

Why, one must wonder, is the great Seto Kaiba contemplating suicide by bludgeoning himself with the closest available object?

Well. I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.

"Please?" Joey tried not to whine, unsuccessfully. He turned his big doe eyes onto the taller teen. Surely no one could say no to that face!

"No." Kaiba didn't even blink. Though, he did appear to glare more intensely at his computer screen where he was diligently trying to work.

Joey growled. Heartless bastard. "Pretty please?" he batted his eyelashes in an extra effort. Only a man with nothing but a _cold, black void_ in place of a heart could deny him now!

"Do you have hearing problems? I said _no_." Well, now the blonde could see a vein throbbing in one of Kaiba's temples with the sheer magnitude of his glare at the helpless computer. At least it was a response.

Joey narrowed his eyes. Time to bring out the big guns.

He threw himself to his knees and flat out begged. "Pretty please with chocolate fudge syrup, cherries, whipped cream, sprinkles, and caramel on top?" He smiled sweetly, batting his doe eyes furiously. The ending result was Joey looking like he had a horrible tic in both eyes.

Kaiba paused. Turn around to give the blonde, who was looking suddenly hopeful, the king of all deadpan glares. A reaction, _yes_! _Now_ he was getting somewhere. "You're a pig."

Joey visibly deflated momentarily. Right back to square one. He muttered sulkily, "At least I'm not a rich pig."

Kaiba raised an eyebrow delicately. "And how is that worse than being an ordinary pig?" He temporarily forgot that he was trying to ignore the blonde boy.

"Eh…" Joey paused in thought for a moment. He couldn't come up with a reason. Well, the perfect defense was a good offense. He pointed his finger dramatically at the unimpressed older teen.

"It doesn't matter why! Now give in! I want you to show me around! I know you have some kind of secret lab where you're doing horrible human experiments or something like that." He looked around him shiftily, as if expecting a human experiment-gone-wrong to come out of some obscured shadow.

Kaiba sat his desk, staring forlornly at the half-typed sentence on his computer screen, realizing it was now a lost cause. He growled at the blonde. He was trying to be patient, he _really_ was. But this had been going on for a few hours already, and the blonde was really beginning to grate on his nerves.

Kaiba thought about that. No, that wasn't entirely true. He had been grating on his nerves for the last eight hours and thirty-seven minutes.

The point was, Kaiba was _not happy_. And an unhappy Kaiba was a dangerous Kaiba. To say he was running on a short fuse would be an understatement.

Reminding himself that throttling people was not good for his PR, he willed himself to be calm. "What kind of person do you take me for? Do I _look_ like a Frankenstein scientist to you?" The blonde vigorously nodded his head.

Looking back, throwing his expensive glass paper weight at the blonde's head probably wasn't the best idea. He stared mournfully at the pitiful remains of the ornate statue that had once adorned his desk, ignoring Joey as he muttered mutinously, rubbing the spot on his head that broke said statue.

Then a thought hit the CEO, and he bit his lip nervously. A very un-Kaiba like habit. Mokuba had threatened him earlier that if he wasn't nice to the mutt, the little brat, though he loved him dearly, would start showing embarrassing home videos of him to the obnoxious blonde. Starting with the security tapes from earlier that morning in his James Bond Mode, sneaking around an empty house. But Mokuba wouldn't _really_ do that.

Would he?

Giving a low growl, Kaiba pinched the bridge of his nose. "What part of _no_ do you not understand, mutt?"

Giving the irritated brunette a blank look, he replied, "The part where you don't do what I say." Joey rolled his eyes. _Obviously_.

"Why don't you go bother the butler? He's a nice guy." Kaiba ignored Joey's snort of disbelief, and continued. "I'm sure he'll be glad to give you a tour."

"A nice guy? Right. Never mind the fact that he's _at least_ ten feet tall-" it was Kaiba's turn to snort "-built like a linebacker, and could _easily_ break me in half and eat me for breakfast!" Kaiba looked unimpressed, as usual.

"Besides, I tried that already!" Joey cried, exasperated. "He said that there wasn't a secret lab, but I know better! _I'm on to you_. I _know_ you have him sworn to secrecy. You can't fool me!" By this time the blonde was waving a finger at Kaiba and laughing manically.

The brunette leapt over the desk in one quick motion, grabbing Joey by the throat and strangling him until he couldn't speak. Finally, he would never have to listen to the unbearable blonde again.

Oh wait, never mind. That was just his imagination. His hand twitched slightly as if about to act on that fantasy.

He blushed suddenly as that thought lead him to recall an earlier fantasy about the blonde he'd had just the night before. It wasn't exactly the _violent_ sort, either…

A hand waved in front of his face. "Hello!" the blonde called out. "Listen to me! I don't like being ignored! Hey! Pay attention! Are you…" Kaiba decided _this_ would be a good time to tune out.

Seto sighed, resting his head on a hand. He pinched the bridge of nose once again to stop an oncoming headache, realizing that nothing would get done.

As if sensing victory, Joey immediately began to cheer – Kaiba winced at the loud holler - and prance around the room. Seto could only give another sigh, and silently wonder how the hell he would survive the week when he couldn't even seem to make it through the first _two days_, and _why_ on earth he had agreed in the first place.

Oh yeah. He'd been tricked, he thought savagely. Damn Mokuba and those puppy eyes of his. _Damn him_.

He stood up, retrieving his jacket, and took out a mysterious object from inside his desk drawer, effectively hiding it behind his back. Well, if he was going to have to endure the Week From Hell, he might as well get some fun out of it. He smirked evilly. He motioned to for the blonde to follow him as he began to walk out of the office and into the hallway. "Come on. We're going outside."

Oblivious to Kaiba's plans, he did perk up as he tried to figure out what the brunette was hiding. "Hey! What's that?" Joey asked curiously, trying to peer over the taller teen's shoulder to get a better look as they began their walk. Kaiba found himself fighting a blush as the proximity. He would not blush, because that was something a little _girl_ would do. Not a cold, ruthless bastard like himself. He _would not blush_.

Kaiba could feel his face turn a pretty princess pink at the blonde hairs tickling his face, and quickly shoved him further away. He couldn't help the smirk creeping onto his face as the blonde began to pout. He really looked like cute puppy like that.

Cerulean eyes instantly widened, as he jolted to a stop in his tracks. The hell was that? What was he thinking? This was Joey, for Chrissake! And why the hell was he blushing at just thought of him?

Concerned amber eyes appeared before his vision, just inches away. "Hey, are you alright? You've been kinda spacey lately. You look a little feverish, too." Joey placed a hand on the brunette's forehead.

Kaiba blinked, still for a split second. Then Kaiba jumped back a foot or two, realizing just how close the two were, mentally berating himself for showing any reaction at all.

What was going on with him today? What was this feeling of uneasiness – or nervousness? Restlessness? – in the pit of his stomach? Maybe _this_ was what it felt like to have butterflies in your stomach? But that was silly. Why would some ignorant street punk make him feel like that?

Ignoring the blonde's question, he studied the blonde for a moment.

He wondered what was drawing his attention towards him. Even if it was negative attention, Joey was the only person he enjoyed taunting. There wasn't anything _special_ about the mutt. He wasn't overly intelligent, ambitious, or had any power to his name. He was completely _average_. So why couldn't he pull his eyes away?

Joey shifted uncomfortably as Kaiba stared at him with an unreadable expression on his face. He wasn't sure what he was searching for with those piercing eyes, but he found himself standing straighter, cheeks reddening, and for some reason he didn't want to dwell on, was sort of hoping that the brunette found whatever he was looking for. He bashfully watched the floor, unable to bring his gaze to those mysterious cerulean eyes.

After a few moments that seemed to last an hour, Kaiba shook his head a little, chuckling softly to himself – which alone almost gave Joey a heart attack - and continued to walk down the hall. Realizing that he was being left behind, Joey gave a little shout of indignation and hurried to catch up to the quick brunette.

Joey shielded his eyes from the bright sunlight as the two stepped outside into the largest backyard he had ever seen. Next to the wall of the mansion there was a perfect garden full of blossoming flowers to the right of the cobblestone path he now stood on. To the left, there was a lush green field that probably could have three football fields in it. Squinting in the direction of the sun, he could make out Mokuba running towards them in the distance. He waited patiently for the boy, grinning and waving wildly.

The raven haired youth stopped in front of the duo, eyes bright and face flushed from running. He looked up at the two older teens, panting with a large grin plastered to his face. "Hey, Big Brother. Hey Joey. What are you two doing out here?"

Kaiba smirked. Reaching into his pocket, the brunette pulled out the secret item he had taken from his desk earlier. It was a rubber tennis ball. Ignoring Joey's growls as he started to catch on, he smirked, handing the toy to Mokuba.

"Now that you have a pet, you have to walk him daily and give him plenty of exercise. Especially since this mutt eats so much. You're gonna have to burn off some of those calories so he doesn't become fat. I hear dogs like to play fetch. Right, _pup_?" He turned his taunting grin towards Joey.

As expected, the blonde blew up. Mokuba rushed to hold the fuming teen back from strangling his older brother. He dug his heels into the ground, gritting his teeth with the force he put into restraining Joey. It was much harder than he would have thought.

Joey didn't even notice the younger Kaiba. He brandished his fist, and thrashed wildly as he attempted to free himself. "You jerk! I can't believe you! Can't you be nice to me for a friggin' _day_?!"

Seto pretended to ponder that for a moment. He tapped his finger to his chin, as though he were deep in thought. Scratched his head, as though he might consider it. Scrunched his eyes in concentration, as if he were weighing the pros and cons.

And then laughed at the complete absurdity of such a request.

Kaiba leered at the fuming Joey. "No, don't think I can. Life wouldn't be as much fun." Kaiba then narrowed his cold blue eyes at the blonde. "Now _play nice_." And if Joey was any good at reading Kaiba's glares, he definitely meant that if he failed to _play nice_, he would be strung up by his ankles and be forced to watch as Kaiba would gladly remove all of his entrails to use them as a noose to hang him by. All while performing the Chinese Water Torture.

And then the bastard would probably castrate him, just for good measure. _Ouch_.

Joey whimpered.

Kaiba deftly tossed the ball to Joey, who caught it reflexively. Then the blue-eyed brunette walked back inside without another word. Though he did pause to shoot another warning glare at the blonde, who immediately crossed his legs as though in pain.

A few hours later, Kaiba smiled to himself, as he finally finished the report that he had been working on. He stretched a bit, arching his spine, hearing a nice _pop_ in his lower back. Glancing at the clock, he realized with a start that it was nearing 5, and that the blonde hasn't bothered him in quite some time.

This, of course, could only mean one thing.

Joey was up to no good.

He quietly - but quickly, as his brain was all too happy to supply a multitude of scenarios of all sorts of trouble and destruction the mischievous blonde could have gotten himself into - walked back to the garden area outside, fully expecting to find his beautiful backyard in a post-Armageddon state.

What he _did_ find, however, was highly amusing. Kaiba quickly stomped down on the smirk that was fighting its way onto his face.

"Like I said before, pup. You are a pig," he chuckled.

Joey and Mokuba had watered down an empty section of the garden, turning everything to mud. The hose was still on, squirming around on the ground like a live snake, spraying water everywhere. The two boys were both laughing and throwing mudballs at each other. Joey couldn't even bring himself to get angry at the brunette's comment. Instead, he donned a large, lopsided grin.

Don't get mad, get even, right?

Seto blinked as a particularly large mudball landed on his face. He had a sudden sense of deja vu as the brown goop dripped off his face. _Better than chewed up dog food_, he thought vaguely. Another drop of mud slipped off his nose, and he decided that _no_, actually, it was _not_ better.

Seto took a menacing step towards the grinning idiot, and was about to wipe that stupid smile off his laughing face when he lost his footing in the slippery mud and fell in face first.

Kaiba laid there for a moment, stunned, trying to think of how he had ended up on the ground. He was pretty sure that he was about to do something important. Like, murder. At least he had landed on something soft…

A strained voice came from below him, and Kaiba remembered. Yeah, that's what he was doing. About to kill an obnoxious blonde who didn't know what was coming to him.

"You're heavy." Joey sounded like he was very much put upon.

Seto glared deep into honey eyes. "You're filthy."

Joey grinned suddenly, very pleased with himself. "So are you." No dry cleaner in the world would _ever_ be able to get the muck out of _those_ clothes.

It was then, as the brunette looked down to assess the damages of his wardrobe, that Seto realized that he was fully sprawled out on top of the other teen, in what could be a very compromising situation. His eyes widened as he realized that nothing but a scant inch of air was separating him from the blonde. The thought instantly turned his face red. Not good. _This would be a good time to get out of here_.

Kaiba hastily attempted to get up, scrambling for a foothold in the mudpit that was slowly turning into a pond with all the water from the hose, which was still going. Getting up took more than a couple of tries. Joey was quickly out of breath because the brunette kept slipping and falling back on top of him. Kaiba may have been a skinny little prick, but he still had quite a bit of weight to him.

Finally, around attempt 15, the two were able to stand back up again, Joey looking the worse for wear. Seto looked over the blonde, not knowing whether to be mad – the whole mud incident was his fault, after all - or amused. The blonde was covered from head to toe in mud, which was a funny sight to behold. Seto frowned slightly. However, the once unstained white t-shirt and jeans that Joey had been wearing belonged to _Kaiba_. The brunette sighed lightly.

"Time to give the dog a bath, I suppose," he chuckled. He looked at the blonde, who was pouting once again. This time he gave a real laugh. Not a small smirk, or sinister snicker. He laughed out loud, eyes crinkling with the force of it. It sounded, for the smallest of moments, like he was just a normal, carefree teenager.

Joey was been about to retaliate in response to the dog insult but froze at the foreign sound coming from Kaiba's mouth. Anything he might have said died on his tongue, and kept quiet, finding he'd rather listen to the brunette laugh. His eyes widened with the realization.

It was only because it was such a rarity, after all. That's what he kept telling himself. It was _not_ because he enjoyed the sound.

Joey didn't even realize it as his mouth curved upwards into a soft smile. No, it wasn't that _at all_.


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter 6-Midnight Interlude 2**

Later that evening, Joey stood in the warm bathroom, drying off his hair. If there was anything good about having to stay at the Kaiba mansion, it was that this was the best damn shower he ever had. Whistling a tune to himself, he thought back to earlier on in the day. He had been acting really strange around Kaiba suddenly. He couldn't understand why he got butterflies in his stomach when Seto laughed. Or why he couldn't even look at the brunette during their dinner earlier without turning red around the ears. Or, an even bigger mystery, why the brunette hadn't commented on his strange behavior, or called him any names during their meal.

Of course, the blonde thought darkly, rubbing the towel furiously through his damp locks of hair, the latter was only a matter of time. Kaiba would _die_ before giving up the fucking dog names.

Mokuba hadn't helped much with his predicament from the afternoon either. He asked why Kaiba had been lying on top of Joey in the mud. Then he asked _oh-so-innocently_ why both had turned so red. If they were maybe feverish, the boy piped up, they should have bed rest. _Together_. Needless to say, both Kaiba and Joey turned a deeper shade of red.

Kaiba decided that Mokuba had been watching too much cable, and banned him from anymore television until further notice.

So, during dinner, Mokuba continued to look from a blushing blonde, to a blushing brunette, then snickering to himself. Losing cable privileges was _totally_ worth it.

Joey didn't get what was so funny. Being the big lug he is, he wouldn't know a sexual tension if it bit him on the face. Kaiba, however, continued to glare daggers at his _not-so_-innocent brother. Mokuba just smiled sweetly back. The CEO clutched tightly to his knife and fork, calculating the exact speed and angle of lift needed to use his butter knife as a dagger to take the blonde out. Then all his problems would be _gone_.

To break the tension in the air, and oblivious to any future projectiles that would be coming his way, Joey had announced that he would go wash up before bed. He didn't want Kaiba's glare to burn a hole in the kid's head. Mokuba was much too valuable, because he was the one who had all the blackmail on Kaiba. And even better - _he wasn't afraid to use it_.

Joey could have just kissed the kid when Mokuba told him that he would be happy to share anything embarrassing he had on the brunette. For a small fee, of course.

Returning to the present, the blonde chuckled to himself as he wrapped a towel around his waist, recalling the bet the blonde had made with the kid. If Joey could get Seto to laugh again before the week was out – not an evil or sinister cackle, but a real stomach-cramping, pee-your-pants laugh - then Mokuba would gladly hand over the key to his vault of blackmail material.

If he lost, he would have to do Mokuba's homework for a month.

Why the kid would even _consider_ trusting the blonde with such a task was beyond him. He couldn't even seem to bring himself to do his own homework. Oh well. Joey didn't intend on losing.

Shaking the last droplets of water from his hair, Joey opened the door from the bathroom and walked into the adjacent room. Still thinking about Mokuba and all the opportunities Joey could use to blackmail Kaiba, Joey wandered over to the dresser to find a pair of pajama pants to wear.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he realized something was amiss. The dresser wasn't on _this_ side of the room before. He opened the top drawer. That shirt wasn't his. Neither were those pants. _What the hell?_

"Hey, wait a second! I don't recognize any of these clothes!" the blonde exclaimed to himself. He nervously held up a pair of black silky boxers with the Blue Eyes White Dragon printed on it. "Now that is _definitely_ not mine." He began to have a horrible sense impending doom.

"Is there something I can help you find, mutt?" a familiar cold voice drawled from behind. "Or do you just enjoy looking at other people's underwear?"

Joey spun around at mach speed 10 to find the blue-eyed brunette lounging across the bed, reading a book that he couldn't see the title of. Kaiba lazily flicked another page, though he wasn't looking at the book. No, his eyes seemed to be permanently locked onto Joey's own honey-hued eyes.

Joey also belatedly noticed that Kaiba was also wearing a new pair of black pants. _And nothing else_. He willed himself not to look down further than Kaiba's neck. And failed.

The blonde took a gulp, and felt a blush coming up. Judging by the six pack on his abs, Seto was _definitely_ fit.

Kaiba merely watched Joey staring at him blankly. Kaiba raised his eyebrow. The pup tilted his head to the side, looking absolutely adorable. "What are you doing on my bed?" he asked, clueless.

The brunette gave a sigh, wondering if there was a limit to the idiocy of the teen before him. He shut his book, deciding that he would never be able to focus on it with Joey standing there, with that adorable confused look on his face. Kaiba smirked. No, it would be _much_ more fun to tease his mutt. He languorously got up from the bed and leisurely walked over to where the blonde was standing.

Joey looked to be in a trance, and couldn't seem to pry his chocolate eyes away from the piercing blue orbs in front of him. Unless they were wandering down to Kaiba's bare torso. Or even a little bit lower…

Joey's eyes widened until he was sure they would pop out of his skull, and his skin turned red until he quite accurately resembled a tomato with a sunburn. He couldn't believe it! He had been checking out _Kaiba_, for Chrissake! He made a mental note to wash his eyes out with bleach later.

"Since when is this bed yours?" a warm breath whispered seductively in his ear. The proximity of the other teen caused Joey to squeak – in a very manly fashion, of course - and jump back a foot or two. Kaiba gave that sexy smirk of his. "Did you really think I'd let you sleep with me?"

Joey took a second look at the bed. Something _did_ seem different. He gave the blue bed sheets a blank stare. _Odd, I thought my sheets were maroon…_

Realization finally dawned on the blonde. He had used the wrong door from the bathroom, and was now in Kaiba's room. Well, that would definitely explain the BEWD boxers. Then the brunette's words sunk in. _Sleep with him!_

His blush deepened, until his whole face felt like it was on fire. He frantically waved his arms around. "That-that's not what I meant!" Joey spluttered.

His jerky movements, however, caused his towel to loosen, and fall precariously low on his hips. Joey managed to grab it just in time and secure it around his waist before he revealed far too much of himself to the brunette.

Though Seto was denied the full picture, he still found himself staring at the shapely hips and toned skin that could be seen peeking from behind the towel.

An embarrassed cough caused the brunette to redirect his attention a little higher up on the blonde. Of course, his traitorous eyes allowed themselves a couple extra seconds for his gaze to linger on Joey's very nice stomach and chest.

Finally looking up at Joey's face, Kaiba was faintly amused to find it a definite shade of pink. He looked decidedly uncomfortable in nothing but his scanty washcloth that could barely pass as a towel. In fact, Joey was clutching the cloth to himself covetously, as though afraid the brunette might try to snatch it away at any second.

Kaiba smirked. Tempting.

Kaiba walked over to his closet, fully aware of the amber eyes following his every move. For some reason he wasn't sure of, the thought brought a small smile to the corners of his mouth.

He turned back to the blonde, but now holding a fluffy green robe. Joey eyed it greedily. Kaiba smirked to himself. He knew he had a nice blue robe too, but somehow he just thought that green looked better on the shorter teen. He didn't even want to _think_ about why he was wondering what colors might look good on the blonde.

Seto slowly walked back to Joey, and draped the warm material over his shoulders. He stared deep into Joey's eyes, never breaking contact, as he continued to help the blonde into the robe. His hands brushed along Joey's sides in a feather light caress as he helped to wrap it around his lithe body.

Joey was suddenly very grateful for the towel covering his lower regions, which had suddenly seemed to be wrapped a bit tighter. He could hear his blood pumping through his ears and his heart beating wildly in his chest, but couldn't bring himself to break the gaze he held with the brunette. He didn't even dare to blink.

A few seconds later, as Joey's eyes began to water, he decided to retract that previous statement, and that blinking could be a good thing.

The blush on his face grew more pronounced as the brunette leaned in, lips brushing against skin, and whispered in his ear a good night. His ear tingled where he could feel the hot breath brushing over it. Joey looked dazedly up at the brunette.

"Whuddumah?" Joey seemed to have lost all form of human language.

With a helpful push (read: shove) from Kaiba, the blonde somehow managed to stumble a few steps back toward the adjoining door, stuttering a good bye while suddenly feeling very lightheaded.

Then the stupid bastard had to go ruin the mood by telling Joey to have nice dreams about bones and chasing rubber tennis balls. Joey was instantly snapped out of any warm-and-fuzzy-feelings trance that he had previously been experiencing. Being quite fed up with Kaiba, Joey promptly slammed the bathroom door in his face. Kaiba winced slightly as he heard the other bathroom door slam shut as well.

Joey huffed angrily. His only regret was that he hadn't slammed the door _on_ his face.

Kaiba stared at the shut door, an amused smile twitching on his lips. Joey was certainly…_different_. And fun to bait. He now found himself looking forward to the week, despite the agonizing day, just to see how much he could antagonize the mutt.

Kaiba thought about the way Joey's eyes blazed with a passionate fire when he was angry with the brunette. The way he turned red when trying to think of a better comeback. The way he became breathless after shouting at the CEO…

Then Kaiba gave a large groan, knowing that he was about to have another fitful night full of dreams of puppy dogs and amber eyes.


	8. Chapter Seven

**One Long Week**

**Chapter 7 - Day 3**

Seto groaned. It didn't make him feel any better. So he banged his head against the table once, twice, and a third time, just in case. It didn't help either.

Last night had not been full of peaceful sleep. Oh no. Not _at all_. Kaiba had woken up at least five times in the night with a little '_problem_,' and had to go take a cold shower twice.

Seto was not happy. In fact, he was decidedly very _unhappy_. And unhappy Kaibas in the morning are _not very pleasant_. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to stop thinking about Joey. He _wanted_ the fucking dreams to stop.

Kaiba paused in his mental rantings. Fucking dreams…that was actually quite an accurate way to put it. He licked his suddenly dry lips. They _were_ rather explicit—

He blushed suddenly, and viciously stomped on that thought until it was a horrible, bloody mess. No, he would _not_ think of the blonde that way. He was obviously just overly stressed from having to deal with Joey's presence, and the toll was having an undesirable effect on his brain. That was all. Really, it was. _Honestly_.

Kaiba scowled, hearing the slight whining in his own voice. He took a savage bite of his bagel, tearing through it with his teeth, then washed it down with a barbaric gulp of his morning coffee, slammed the mug down, and forced himself to focus on the morning paper.

At least he hadn't managed to rip it this morning. Though it did seem to be visibly wilting from the angry, apocalyptic radiation waves of doom coming from his person.

He heard a loud crash coming from the room adjacent from the kitchen, causing him to flinch – and, he noticed with a forlorn sigh, rip the newspaper - and heard a certain blonde puppy muttering about flowers still trying to kill him. He had a horrible sense of déjà vu. He could only assume the mutt had tried to sneak up on him…_again_. He hoped he wouldn't have to buy a new vase for those flowers every day. Those man-eating Venus flytraps did _not_ appreciate having to be put in a new container. Luckily for the CEO, however, that was what he had butlers for.

And because Kaiba was so compassionate, he was _more _than willing (read: a crowbar was needed to pry the money away from the greedy bastard's kung-fu ninja grip) to pay the medical bills after the flower got a big, juicy bite of butler-leg.

Kaiba turned around in his seat to assess the damages, and watched the shorter teen sending dark glares at the shattered remains of a vase while staggering over to the kitchen table.

Seto found his mood brightening slightly. Oh _goodie_, he thought, positively delighted. Joey taunting time.

The brunette was fully prepared to make a teasing comment about Joey's puppy-ridden pajamas once again, only to quickly realize that he was no longer wearing said puppy-ridden pajamas. No. Kaiba frowned pensively, looking the blonde up and down. No, Joey was definitely _not_ wearing the special nighttime garments that he had put so much thought into picking out.

Instead, he was wearing deep blue pajamas with silver pinstripes and sterling silver buttons down the shirt. Which was made of silk. Designer, _custom_ made. And had the personalized, trademarked _SK_ embroidered on the breast pocket of the shirt. Pajamas he instantly recognized as his absolute _favorite pair_. Kaiba's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Mutt…" he growled, and Kaiba managed to single-handedly reverse global warming with his icy tone in that one tiny, innocuous word. In fact, Kaiba had such an evil undertone that miles away, one ex-Pharaoh of a previous life came shooting out of his golden puzzle, fully prepared to fight the apocalyptic doom he sensed coming.

Joey's head whipped up, surprised at the hostile tone. He'd only been up for about two seconds, how the hell could the brunette possibly be mad at him already? Joey gulped. Could Kaiba already know that Joey had secretly looted the bathroom, in an act that would have made Bakura proud, taking all the shampoo, soap, conditioner, toothpaste, toilet paper, shower curtain, and anything else that hadn't been nailed down? He realized, belatedly, that stuffing it all under the bed might not have been the best hiding place for it.

His reasons being, of course, that anything of Kaiba's had to be worth a fortune on eBay. Hey, a kid's gotta save his retirement fund _somehow_.

Following the gaze of the cerulean orbs that were shooting ocular fire at his person, he realized that Kaiba was heatedly glaring at his torso. Joey looked down at the _very_ comfortable, and most likely _very_ expensive, pajamas he was currently wearing.

Oh. _Right_. Maybe Kaiba was a teensy bit possessive. Joey gave a nervous laugh. He had thought that the pajamas looked so comfy the other night, he didn't think Kaiba would notice it if he, uh, _borrowed_ them. Without giving them back. Like, _ever_. Scratching the back of his head sheepishly, Joey laughed.

"Hey Kaiba! Mornin'. Is everything okay? He look a little upset. Heh heh. Heh. _Ahem_." Joey cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the awkward tension.

When Kaiba's scowl deepened, Joey felt it was his civic duty to point out that if he kept frowning, Kaiba's face would freeze that way.

Seto could feel a vein throbbing somewhere around his forehead. He vaguely noticed that his blood pressure had taken an unhealthy leap since the blonde's arrival in his mansion just two days before. "Just where did you get those?" he grounded out, motioning with a vague hand towards the silky pants. The hand made a slight twitching motion, as if itching to wrap itself around Joey's windpipe.

The blonde took an unconscious step back. Kaiba must be _very_ possessive. He looked like he was ready to foam at the mouth. Joey wondered for a moment if it was possible that maybe the CEO had rabies.

Now, the readers are probably expecting Joey to make slow, deliberate movements, and try to appease the very possibly psycho-killer Kaiba. Then they would expect him to back away slowly, _so very slowly_, until he could sneak away undetected, and run off like the sissy little wuss he is. This, however, is not what happened.

A wise Joey would have known better than to agitate a cranky, sleep-deprived, murderous Kaiba. A Joey with the smallest ounce of common sense would have known that this would be a very bad, _bad_ idea. A smart Joey would have seen that this would bring about a world where there is no happiness. _Just angry Kaibas_.

Unfortunately, there were no wise or smart Joeys within a twenty mile radius. So a very stupid Joey timidly laughed, "Finders keepers?" And Kaiba was not pleased with this answer. He was not pleased _at all_.

Over all, it could have been worse. Joey did a quick assessment of all the damages, and was relieved that he still had all limbs intact. He was only attacked by a half-eaten bagel. Granted, it had the velocity and force of a charging rhinoceros on steroids and nearly knocked Joey clean off his feet, which would have gave him the second concussion of the week, but as far as Kaiba goes, it was a very lenient punishment. However, the cream cheese seemed to instantly glue itself to the blonde's head.

Joey internally panicked. Sentient cream cheese amebas! He had no defense against that! Joey yelped when it pulled out a large chunk of hair when he gingerly peeled it off.

Joey glared at the offending breakfast. He needed that hair! A quiet snicker to his left pulled his attention away from the bagel. He narrowed his eyes in his version of a dangerous glare, but because it was Joey, it wasn't very intimidating. "And just _what_ is so funny?" His lower lip jutted out in a ferociously menacing pout.

Seto was still laughing, and tears were beginning to form in his eyes. Joey blinked, wondering if he might be hallucinating. That had to be a first. Kaiba almost looked like he wasn't a _complete_ jerk. "The look on your face, pup."

At the dog reference, Joey changed his mind. He would always and forever be a complete and utter jerk, and there would never be any hope of redemption for him.

Joey pouted. He was supposed to look scary, not funny. He was very ferociously menacing, dammit! "What's wrong with my face?" He crossed his eyes in an attempt to see himself and determine was could be wrong with his expression.

He suddenly felt a smooth thumb brush over his cheekbone, and uncrossed his eyes only to find Kaiba a few scant inches away. His felt his breath hitch, and he just _knew_ that his cheeks had instantly turned the color of a tomato with a horrible, _horrible_ sunburn. He vaguely wondered why he was reacting in such a way to Kaiba's proximity, and decided to blame it on television for rotting his brain when he was unsuccessful in coming up with an answer.

His blush deepened even more when Kaiba brought his thumb back, now covered in some creamy substance, and brought it slowly into his mouth. His cerulean eyes blazed intensely into Joey's honey gaze unblinkingly. And Joey found himself slowly getting creeped out.

He could feel his eyes widening, watching Kaiba suck slowly on his own thumb in what could have been described in a seductive manner if Joey didn't already know that Kaiba was born without a sex drive, and nearly bolted for the door. It was just getting too weird in here for him.

He made it about two paces before Kaiba grabbed a hold on Joey's arm, effectively holding him in place. Joey mentally panicked. Oh no. Kaiba had snapped. This was the part when he would be brutally murdered and the pieces of his pathetic corpse lost forever inside the labyrinth of the CEO's mansion. Joey would forever deny whimpering in fear.

Kaiba leaned in close to Joey's ear, ignoring the blonde's flinch – though it was more of a full bodily twitch - and whispered throatily that Joey had had cream cheese on his face. It _had_ to be cleaned off. He wouldn't allow dirty mutts inside his pristine mansion.

Joey blinked, still hyper-aware of the brunette's hand on his arm and the breath on his ear lobe, and tried not to shiver. Then he tried to register what Kaiba had said. Something about cream cheese and cleaning… Oh. _Oh_. Well that made sense. Sort of.

Joey blinked again. Okay, it made no sense whatsoever, but who was he to question a potentially insane billionaire that could easily kill him and buy off any judge and get off without so much as a slap on the wrist? If Kaiba was willing to forgo the brutally-murdering-Joey part, he was not about to point out the brunette's illogical reasoning.

Joey didn't speak, not having anything to say as he decided that he rather valued life.

Kaiba reveled in the rare silence that he would probably never hear again from Joey, and wordlessly turned back to the table to finish his coffee. He decided he didn't want the bagel anymore. He tried to stomp out the thought that he had found something much more tasty. He licked his lips, and could still taste strawberry cream cheese with a slight hint of salty Joey-skin in his mouth.

Kaiba felt his cheeks turn a slight shade of pink as his thoughts turned towards delicious Joey-germs, despite his best efforts to not blush, and gave a small cough to distract his own thoughts. And the best way to distract someone, even if it is yourself, is to change the subject. "You never answered me, pup."

Joey jumped slightly, startled at the sudden break in silence and what he would never recognize as anything akin to sexual tension. He blinked, surprised, as though he had never heard a person speak before. He looked around to both sides of him, as though maybe the question was not directed at him. Seeing no one else, he tilted his head in a way that Kaiba refused to describe as cute. "Wha?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes. Honestly. He didn't know how Joey managed to pass any of his classes if he could be this dense in the morning. He took a deep breath, and spoke like he would speak to a small child that had been dropped on its head one too many times during infancy. "Just when did you take those pajamas?"

Joey looked down at the pants and grinned. He ran his hands down slowly over his torso, just to antagonize the brunette, unaware that the look of horror on Kaiba's face had less to do with him molesting Kaiba's clothes and more to do with a sudden urge in Kaiba to molest Joey.

Blissfully unaware of Kaiba's M-rated thoughts (which will not be described here, in a vain effort to not traumatize the impressionable youth, despite the fact that if the readers are this far into the story, it's probably much too late for them anyway) Joey shrugged nonchalantly. "I took them last night when you were sleeping. I got tired of your stupid dog ones, and I saw them in your dresser last night. So I took them. Also, _love_ the Blue-Eyed White Dragon boxers. Bit overboard, if you ask me, but who am I to judge?" Joey grinned impishly.

Kaiba felt his face blush and pale at the same time, in an odd paradox of emotion. The thought of Joey in his bedroom had his heart beat slightly faster (not to mention the whole Joey-looking-through-his-underwear bit) and yet the fear of waking up from one of his dreams with a certain _problem_ and having to explain it to Joey would have been the end of him. His face finally made up its mind, as his face drained of all blood in mortification at the thought of the scenario.

He snarled quietly, intent on making it clear to Joey that he was never to enter his bedroom ever again. He planned to do this through intimidation. "Did it ever occur to you, that's stealing? I could have you arrested and escorted off my property." Kaiba mentally patted himself on the back for not sounding like a whiney, angsty, emo teen, and more like the big, bad, testosterone-filled CEO that he was.

The readers may take a moment to snort in disbelief.

"Did you know you talk in your sleep?" That shut Kaiba up. Anything else he might have said in his tirade died on his lips. Joey smiled innocently, as though he might be discussing the weather, but behind that mask of pseudo-politeness, Joey was planning his future college fund through blackmail.

Seto felt his whole face on fire. Far away, penguins became extinct as Antarctica melted due to the sudden jump in global temperature. Kaiba's eye twitched nervously and his hand spasmed. Shit. He had been talking in his sleep? What exactly had the mutt heard? He struggled not to fidget worriedly, a very un-Kaiba-like gesture. Given the content of most of his dreams from the night before, this could be bad. This could be really, _really_ bad. Like, _end of the world_ bad.

Joey's smile widened slightly, causing it to look slightly maniacal. "Yeah, and I do believe I saw you cuddling with a teddy bear. What did you call him?" He tapped a finger against his chin thoughtfully, as if he hadn't spent several hours already laughing about it behind Kaiba's back and just couldn't _quite_ remember. Which was a lie, because no amount of bribery or amnesia would ever deprive Joey of a golden opportunity to make life hell for Kaiba. "Oh yeah, Mr. Teddums, was it? I never would have figured you for the snuggling type, Kaiba."

Kaiba's eye twitched violently and his whole body spasmed. A knife would be good right about now. Something really long and brutal. He wasn't sure if he would kill himself or the obnoxious, grinning idiot in front of him, but he _really_ wanted a knife.

His mind then wondered if there were any dull, rusty knives around that could be implemented in a slow, gruesome murder, and decided he'd probably rather finish off the blonde than himself.

Unfortunately, he realized morosely, his kitchen was a good fifty feet long, and the knives were kept on the opposite end from where he was standing. He stared longingly at the drawer where they lay in, just waiting for Kaiba to use them, and mentally calculated the exact time it would take to sprint from here to there and back again. His hand twitched excitedly.

He would have to find a place to bury the body, of course, and explain to that annoying Yugi why Joey would not be returning from his stay at the Kaiba mansion. He would have to brave those large, amethyst eyes, but it could be well worth it if he no longer had to deal with the infuriating blonde…

Unaware of the brunette's homicidal thoughts, the blonde continued. "Now I owe Yami twenty bucks." He crossed his arms, and huffed like he was being much put upon, and glared at Kaiba like it was somehow his fault. "Man, if this keeps up, I'm going to be broke."

This managed to pique the brunette's curiosity, despite himself. He stopped thinking about the city's sewer system, and how long it would take a body to decompose to the point where dental records would not even be of help, and turned back to the present. "What are you going on about now? _Another_ bet about me? Don't you have anything better to do with your life?"

At Joey's blank stare that clearly said he didn't – and thought that this was somehow perfectly normal – the brunette sighed resignedly and asked wearily, "Just how many bets do you have that revolve around me?" He rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes to resist the urge to roll them exaggeratedly.

When Joey didn't answer right away, Kaiba opened his eyes once again to glare at Joey, who was still giving him blank stare. After five minutes, Kaiba growled irritably. "Well?"

Joey growled back. "Hang on, I'm counting." Kaiba sweatdropped, realizing that the blank look on Joey's face was actually his thinking face, and waited.

And waited.

And _waited_.

Just when Kaiba was about to snap once again, about ten minutes later, Joey finally blurted out, "537."

Kaiba's jaw dropped. "What!" he spluttered. "That-that's impossible! How can you possibly think of that many things to bet on?"

Joey paused, blinking. "Hang on, let me double check." He made some calculations on his fingers, and nodded to himself. "Yeah, that's right. Five hundred and thirty-seven bets."

Kaiba was vaguely aware that his jaw was hanging open in a most undignified manner, but couldn't seem to force it to close. After a moment or two of making indistinguishable noises that resembled a slowly dying aardvark, he finally managed to speak again. "What could you possibly bet on?"

Joey beamed brightly. "Oh, that's easy. There's a million rumors going around town about you." Joey put his hands behind his head, looking suddenly smug. "Granted, half of them I started because I was bored, and wanted to see how many people would believe the outrageous things I was saying. Let me tell you, those tabloids pay pretty well for _anything_ about you."

Seeing Kaiba don his angry look – which promised a hundred and two ways of slow, macabre murder, probably involving being strangled from his own pickled intestines - again in regards to Joey's methods of saving up for a college fund, he decided to change to subject back to the original question.

Joey began to count off on his fingers. "Well, I bet Tristan that you own lacy pink boxers—"

Kaiba blinked in surprise.

"—and Yugi that you've got some dead bodies that used to be your business competition lying around in some secret basement."

Kaiba frowned pensively.

"Me and Mai have a bet with Yami that you sing in the shower, but I've got a wager that says you suck, like, really, _really_ bad. Mai thinks you probably sing well, but _I_ know better."

Kaiba's eye twitched slightly.

"I bet Ryou that you have your own personal zoo in the backyard, complete with a zebra,"

Kaiba sighed angrily.

"Marik that you bought a nuclear submarine from Russia off Ebay, just in case you think drastic measures need to be taken if your rival companies get too uppity,"

Kaiba choked.

"Bakura that—"

Kaiba put up a hand to cut him off. Joey looked about to protest, or worse, _continue_, but Kaiba's glare cut him off. "That's _more_ than enough. I swear I'm losing brain cells just _listening_ to you. Which should be impossible, but you set a new standard for the levels of stupidity in humanity." He ignored Joey's indignant huff, and continued.

"I can tell you right now that you have lost every single bet you have ever made about me. I do _not_ own pink underwear of any kind, lacy or not, I do not have any dead bodies, _yet_," he added, sending a pointed glare in Joey's direction. "I happen to sing quite well, thank you very much. Why on earth would I want a zebra or any other dirty animal near my pristine mansion? And what could I possibly do with a nuclear submarine? Not to mention that's highly illegal and would be bad for my public image."

Kaiba took a deep breath, feeling rather winded after such a long rant. He looked almost pityingly at the blonde. "You are the worst gambler I have ever heard of. Have you ever _won_ a bet at least _once_ in your pathetic life?"

Joey opened his mouth to retort resentfully, and then thought for a moment. He once again opened his mouth to answer, then paused, shook his head, and mumbled a '_nevermind_,' and thought some more. He scratched his head in thought. "Uh…" He scrunched up his nose in concentration. Kaiba tried very hard not to think of it as a rather endearing look.

After perusing through every memory of all the bets Joey had ever made, a very dejected looking blonde admitted that no, he had not yet won a bet.

Kaiba chuckled slightly to himself, and was surprised to find he was actually enjoying this conversation. "And just what bet did you lose that got you locked up here with me?" He smirked slightly as he saw Joey blush slightly.

Joey crossed his arms and, after gathering up every shred of dignity in his being, stuck out his tongue in a very childish manner. "Nope. Not telling. No way, no how." He turned a cold shoulder on the CEO, as if that would make his decision final.

Kaiba caught himself staring at that tongue, and was suddenly glad that Joey was no longer facing him. He violently shook his head from side to side. What was he _doing_? He could not think like that! Especially not about _Joey_.

He glared at the back of Joey's skull, as if it were his fault. "Tell me, _mutt_. I am not asking." He growled roughly. He decided not to dwell on the small voice in the back of his mind that said he sounded like a small child who was not used to not getting his way.

Joey turned back around for a brief second and pouted at the brunette. "I don't care. You're just going to laugh at me." He turned back around, deciding it would probably be safer for his resolve if he was not facing the icy glare emanating from Kaiba.

Seto narrowed his eyes for a moment, then slowly smirked as he concocted an irresistible plan. "Joey," Kaiba said sweetly as possible. Considering it was Kaiba, however, it just sounded more like he had a very bad taste in his mouth.

Joey automatically became suspicious. He looked back over his shoulder with a wary glance. Kaiba never said his name. _Ever_. So, he thought he was perfectly justified in clapping his hands to his ears and telling Kaiba that he didn't want to hear anything he had to say, because it could only be considered _pure evil_.

Judging by the sudden temperature drop and the look of death personified on the brunette's face, Kaiba had _not_ appreciated that remark. Like, _at all_.

Still glaring at the blonde through narrowed slits on his slender face, Kaiba hissed, "I have a bet for you, _Joseph._ If I can guess what the bet was in just fifteen questions, I win. If I don't manage it, you win. Sound fair?" Kaiba tried to smile alluringly, but it came off as more of a grimace, so the brunette wisely gave up on the gesture.

Still feeling rather suspicious, Joey guardedly asked what he would get if he won.

Kaiba smirked, sensing that Joey would soon be a victim of curiosity killing the puppy, and knew exactly what to say to ensure that Joey wouldn't hesitate to take the deal. He leaned in close to Joey's ear, hand resting lightly on the blonde's shoulder, and purred, "A free ticket out of here."

Red signals flared up in the long forgotten part of Joey's brain that used rationale and common sense. The part that used logic. The part that _knew better_. Sadly, the blonde no longer had touch with that part of his brain.

Poor Joey.

Joey didn't even think to ask what would happen if he lost. The opportunity was too good to pass up. "You got yourself a deal, Moneybags. So shoot, ask me the first question." He leaned back in his chair smugly, crossed his legs, and grinned cheekily up at the blue-eyed teenager.

Kaiba _tsked_ mockingly at the blonde. "Don't you even want to know what the stakes are if you _lose_?"

Joey looked nervous for a split second, then jabbed a thumb at his own chest pompously. "I never lose! Especially not to the likes of you, _Moneybags_." He dutifully ignored the fact that he had lost the last 537 bets where the CEO was concerned.

Seto looked too smug for his own good. In fact, if one were to squint and tilt their head at 47.8 degrees to the left, they would see that the CEO looked decidedly feral, and would be able to see the black aura of conspiracies and evil plans emanating from the brunette. _Perfect_.

"Well, I suppose I should ask the most obvious one first, though I have a horrible feeling I already know the answer. Does it involve me in some way?"

Joey shifted nervously from one foot to the other. He blushed slightly, and refused to make eye contact with anything but the floor. He kicked the ground in what could only be described as a sullen manner. Then he frantically tried to buff out the resulting scuff on the previously unmarred tile with the sole of his sneaker, only to succeed in making it larger. He settled for just placing his sneaker on top to hide it and vowed to never move.

He chanced a glance back up at the blue-eyed man before him, and thought back to the question. "Um…"

Kaiba felt a smile begin to tug at the corners of his mouth. "I take it that's a yes." He decided to go through a mental checklist of the things he already knew Joey had bet on. "Does it involve my personal hygiene, or any garments that I may wear?" He cringed mentally at the thought of owning lacy pink underwear.

Joey shook his head, no. That was a relief.

"Does it involve any talents that I may possess, or lack thereof?" Kaiba silently scoffed at the thought that anyone may doubt his singing ability. He could win American Idol if he wanted to. Really. It was just that _he didn't feel like it right now_.

The blonde giggled childishly, relishing the thought of a singing Kaiba, but shook his head again. Another no.

Kaiba thought of the other things Joey had thought up. "Does it involve anything that might be located in my mansion, such as anything living, illegal, or no longer living?" Another shake. So it didn't have anything to do with zebras, illegitimate submarines, or hidden corpses. Maybe this bet hadn't been such an obviously stupid one after all.

"Does it involve my company?" It was one of the last things that he could think of. To his disappointment, Joey was looking more and more relieved by the minute, as it became more apparent that Kaiba was not immediately guessing the correct answer. He grinned as he rejected the guess.

Kaiba stood stumped. Perhaps he had overestimated the blonde's stupidity.

He thought about that for a moment. No, no. He just wasn't going about this in the right way. He had to think like the mutt. What was the stupidest, most off-the-wall random thing that he could come up with?

Seto thought about it for a moment, then an idea came to him. He looked up warily. If he was correct, Joey would have reached a previously thought-to-be-impossible level of stupid. "It doesn't have anything to do with me raising an army of space alien robot monsters with mind-controlling powers and built-in laser beams and subatomic blasting rays in an attempt to take over the world, does it?" He felt silly even asking it.

Joey looked up, horrified. It wasn't possible! There could only be one explanation for guessing his brilliant bet! (Joey still refused to admit that he had lost. He was convinced that he was right. He was currently raising funds to hire one Egyptian thief to break and enter into the mansion so that he may prove it. If only Ryou didn't have Bakura on such a tight leash. And here the readers may take a moment to make a mental _wapish_! sound and giggle at the thought of a whipped Bakura.)

"Y-you cheated!"

Seto rolled his eyes. "Mutt, how could I have possibly cheated? I cannot read minds, you know." He sweatdropped when the blonde mumbled something about owing Rex Raptor money. How many people were in on this Kaiba Betting Ring?

However, Kaiba's expression slowly changed into a terrible, evil grin. The horrible death rays that came off his person were enough to travel to the core of the earth and halt its spinning, causing a chain of effects that would cause a global nuclear meltdown. "You know what this means, pup?"

Joey looked terrified. Why, oh _why_, did he agree to bet with Kaiba? Why couldn't he ever prove that he was right when it came to anything regarding the blue-eyed enigma? (As far as Joey was concerned, Kaiba guessing his bet was as good as a confession that it was _exactly_ what he was planning.)

His face paled, however, when he heard the punishment, the _horror_, Kaiba would unleash upon him. He quickly looked around and spotted the window, and wondered if he could make a daring leap out of his to his merciful death. Then he remembered that he was only on the first floor of the mansion, and throwing himself to his doom would not be very conducive to his merciful death when the window was only two feet from the ground.

He really should have stayed in bed. And he really should have stolen Mr. Teddums as leverage.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter 8-Day 3**

"What!" Joey spluttered.

Impassive blue eyes stared levelly at the shocked and outraged blonde in front of him. He silently raised an eyebrow as if to say, _You heard me the first time, mutt, and I will not repeat myself for the likes of you. Now do as I say._

"You—you…just can't do that! It's not fair!"

Kaiba's stare began to turn into a glower. A glower that clearly said _I can do whatever I want, __pup__. I didn't force you to agree to this bet. You did that all in your own stupidity_. He turned his head away, already bored with this mental argument.

"But-but—"

Kaiba sneered over his shoulder. "I don't want to hear anything else out of you, unless it's an actual bark."

"You bastard!"

"I don't believe that was a bark, mutt."

Joey stomped his feet in frustration and resisted the urge to growl like a rabid dog. "This is _unethical_, Kaiba! There has to be some kinda law against this!"

Kaiba smiled in amusement. Today would be a very good day, indeed. "You can always try to sue me later. I'm sure the lawyers, not to mention the press, would just _love_ to hear you explain this to them."

Joey's eyes widened. This was true. If word got out that he...that he did…_this_…well, Joey Wheeler would be the laughing stock of the town. No, scratch that…this story would probably make it onto every news station across the _globe_. He would be as famous as Kaiba, only without all the money, and instead of people asking for his autograph, people would just point and _laugh_.

Not that people across the globe would really care, but he wouldn't put it past Kaiba to bribe everyone from CNN to the most scandalous gossip magazine to print the story, just so he couldn't move to another country where no one would know who he was.

Joey hung his head in defeat. He did lose the bet, after all. He groaned inwardly. Why him? He wondered silently if someone up in the heavens was conspiring against him.

"But Kaiba…your dog for the day? Come on. Don't you think that's going just a _little_ too far with this?"

Kaiba's smile turned into a smirk. "Not at all. I always wanted a pre-trained puppy that came with tricks and all." The smirk turned into a predatory grin, and he patted his thigh. "Now, heel."

Joey growled angrily. He imagined himself taking a bodily leap and tackling the CEO to the ground and brutally wiping that smirk off of his face via horrible, bloody means involving sharp implements. Sure, it wasn't a very realistic daydream, but it was still nice to think about. Joey giggled sadistically.

"I'm not your stupid dog, Kaiba. And I'm sure not doing any tricks for the likes of you. I'd much rather just bite your leg off."

The brunette gave a fake look of disappointment, and shook his head solemnly. He chuckled inwardly as Joey became even more irate, and nearly foamed at the mouth. He tutted, "You are not turning out to be a very good dog. Don't make me whack you with the newspaper. Or buy you a muzzle."

That shut Joey up. Kaiba was taller than him, and in case of a fight, Joey could possibly lose. And that would put him into more trouble than he already was. Besides, Kaiba could probably just summon fifty heavy-weight wrestling champion bodyguards out of thin air with the snap of his fingers. Being tackled by ten tons of muscle, and then having a gloating Kaiba force a muzzle on him did not sound like much fun. It did not sound like much fun at _all_.

So for once, Joey did a smart thing, and didn't utter another word. And that small logical part of his brain burst into weeping tears of joy that he was finally noticed. Then burst into tears of agony as it was violently shoved back into the dusty corners of Joey's mind, to never be seen again.

Kaiba took a moment to mentally pat himself on the back, for being the first in history to accomplish such a feat as silencing Joey. It was rare indeed, for Joey to not speak. Not that he found himself minding _too_ much when he _did_ talk, of course; his voice had a strange comforting sensation to it.

Kaiba growled inwardly. Wait. That was a lie. He couldn't stand the thought of Joey's voice. Why would he think there was anything positive about it? Something was _obviously_ wrong with his brain. He would need a CAT scan after this week, along with some serious therapy. He needed to get away for a little while, if nothing else than to clear his head. This strange entrancement with the mutt was starting to grow to an unhealthy level.

He stood up, deciding to do just that. Besides, he needed to get something from the pet store. Sure, he could send the butler to do it, but this way he could kill two birds with one stone. He stalked over to the nearby closet to grab his customary trench coat.

"Where are yo—" Joey started, but Kaiba turned swiftly around with a glare that sent Joey's very soul running away wailing like a little girl, cutting him off.

"I have a few errands to run. Stay here, stay out of trouble, and _try_ to stay out of my room." Kaiba intensified his glare as he added, "If you know what's good for you." His cold, icy blue eyes promised slow and painful deaths if he didn't 'try' hard enough. A brutal and gruesome murder that probably involved slow disembowelment using a butter knife and a spork.

Joey winced as the front door slammed shut. He clutched tightly to his stomach, where he hoped that kitchen utensils would never be used to take out his innards. That wasn't fair. Why did Kaiba get to leave, and he couldn't?

The blonde sighed. What to do now? As he walked out of the kitchen, he could hear the echoes of his footsteps reverberating across the walls. He fought down a shiver. _Creepy_. Leave it up to Kaiba to probably have ghosts living in his house.

Joey continued walking, repeatedly looking over his shoulder suspiciously—_not_ that he was afraid of ghosts, mind you, because he was _so_ not a sissy little scaredy-cat like that—until he found himself in the main foyer. He _could_ explore, do a little searching for blackmail material to supplement his newfound college-at-the-expense-of-Kaiba-fund, but the chances of him becoming lost were high. Almost as high as the chances of him being blonde.

He checked his hair. Definitely blonde.

Exploring was off of his list of options to do.

He walked back up the stairs to the hall where the bedrooms were located, perfectly content with the idea of spending one of the days of his week from hell sleeping away. As Joey reached his bedroom, he glanced at the door next to his, which lead into Kaiba's room.

His eyes widened, surprised, as he saw that the door was ajar, opened just a sliver of a crack. Just enough to where he could see that all of Kaiba's closest, personal, tightly guarded secrets were not locked safely shut within.

He mentally debated whether or not he should venture inside. It was a perfect, golden, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Who else could say they had snuck inside of _Kaiba's bedroom_ and lived to tell the tale? Then again, who was to say that he _would_ survive? Joey's brain was all to happy to supply a multitude of scenarios that involved Kaiba slowly torturing the life out of him.

He stood there, silently debating with himself, and didn't even notice a slight movement below his line of vision.

As if having a mind of its own, his right hand started to reach for the doorknob. He nearly screamed when he saw it aiming for the Forbidden Door. He quickly slapped it down with his other hand. He started to chastise the disobedient limb on having moral ethics, and the value of having said limb not being detached from the wrist by said Kaiba. Somewhere in the back of his head, he silently hoped that the Kaiba brothers would never watch the security videos of him scolding his own hand.

He had a reputation to uphold, after all.

Unfortunately for Joey, and fortunately for the younger Kaiba, watching security videos of the two idiots living with him was a favorite pastime of Mokuba's. The footage would be the death of his college fund before it ever began.

Then, as he was busy giving his right hand a lecture on just exactly how many ways Kaiba could kill him for entering his room, Joey's left hand decided to stop paying attention at Death Scenario #485, and wandered to the knob and turned it in.

Joey stopped mid-sentence about being brutally strapped upside-down to a pole with no underwear or food or water, and stared at the now open doorway. Then he looked at his left hand, which was looking rather guilty right about now. He glared at it, and it curled up pathetically.

He decided to give up on scolding both of his hands, because scolding both could be considered grounds for being insane. Scolding just one could pass off as being weird. Eccentric, you know.

With no more scolding to do, he glanced up at the door. And his own views of morale ethics and fears of being mauled by a vicious brunette flew out the window, and a strong surge of curiosity took over.

He took a deep breath, and walked in. He instantly cringed, expecting futuristic laser beam rays to disintegrate him immediately. After a few agonizing seconds of not feeling his molecules turn to ash, he slowly pried one eyelid open. He relaxed visibly at the lack of Kaiba's army of space alien robot monsters waiting to devour his flesh.

He looked around him, taking in the vaguely familiar surroundings. He saw the same blue bed sheets, which had cued him in that he was in the wrong room the night before. He blushed slightly, recalling the fluttering sensation in his stomach as Kaiba leaned so close to his face, whispering in his ear. He recalled the way Kaiba's breath had smelled so minty fresh…

Joey's left hand slapped his face hard, and the thought died instantly. He thanked the appendage for restoring his sanity.

He continued his surveillance of the bedroom, and his eyes finally rested upon the majestic-looking bed in front of him. He nervously looked both ways, to ensure that no one was there to watch him—blissfully unaware of all security cameras—and took a good half dozen steps back.

Joey took in a couple deep, calming breaths. What he was about to do would be a monumental moment in mankind's history. No one before had ever dared to do this before. This was beyond any sort of sick extreme thrill that could be attained by sky diving or climbing Mount Everest. Compared to this, they all seemed like child's play.

Joey took one last breath, and then made a running leap for the bed. At the last second he took a giant leap onto the top of the mattress, just to see how high he could jump. He took great pleasure in the fact that he could almost reach the ceiling of the _very_ tall, cathedral-like bedroom. Joey thought to himself with a chuckle that he had invented a new extreme sport: Kaiba Bed-Jumping.

After a few more gravity-defying jumps, Joey calmed down enough to just sit on Kaiba's bed. He took a moment to revel in the softness. It felt as though he were sitting on a fluffy cloud. Not that he expected any less. The billionaire teen could probably bribe mythological Greek gods to give him an actual cloud to sleep in. He felt a sudden urge to check underneath the sheets to make sure there was an actual mattress under there, but shook his head. He had more important things to do. He needed to think about why he suddenly acted the way he did around Kaiba.

He counted off his strange symptoms on his fingers. He knew that whenever Kaiba came unusually close, his face flushed, and his heart would beat faster. Granted, the only other times he had gotten so close to Kaiba was during their fights, so maybe his body was just unused to not punching the brunette's face at the proximity. That could be an explanation.

He also got the strange sensation of butterflies in his stomach. Big, huge, monstrous, kamikaze butterflies that were rampaging into his walls of his stomach. And the most incriminating part of all was that he didn't mind the feeling. He actually kind of enjoyed it. He couldn't really think of any explanation to _that_.

He knew that he didn't feel this way because he feared Kaiba. Sure, he could be a real prick, but he was beginning to see a different side to him. A few days ago, he would have said that there was a better chance of there being a three-headed monster living under his bed than Kaiba ever dreaming of possessing a heart.

Now he was beginning to think it might just be possible. Even scary monsters have hearts, so it was plausible that Kaiba might actually have one too. Who knows, he might even be a softie under that thick shell of ice.

But what did all of these signs mean? There was only one thing that Joey could think of, but he quickly shoved that thought away. No. It wasn't possible. There was just no way. He couldn't actually be…_attracted_ to Kaiba, could he? He nearly gagged at the thought. _No_. Kaiba was a cold, heartless bastard who called Joey dog names. He would never think there was anything good about him.

He quickly shook his head. He had to get out of this room, it was doing weird things to his head.

In a small portion in the back of his head, his rebellious mind, however, pointed out to him that the thought of liking Kaiba wasn't as disturbing as it should have been.

Joey decided not to dwell on it for the time being. He needed fresh air. He needed out, now. In his haste to get out of the room, he jolted the bedside table, knocking over an ornate silver frame.

He leaned over to grab the picture off of the ground, praying to God that he hadn't broken it and left evidence of his daring breaking-and-entering into the Kaiba bedroom. After doing a quick inspection of the frame, he sighed in relief to see it was still intact. Then he took another moment to look at the picture, and he smiled softly. It was a picture of the Kaiba brothers from when they were younger. It wasn't funny like the one he found on the refrigerator the first day, but he still found himself staring fondly at the picture. He could see the innocence radiating from the young brunette's azure eyes. Too bad he was a bastard now.

Chuckling softly to himself, he brought his finger up to trace the outline of his cheek. He shook his head, smiling at the irony of it all. He murmured softly to himself, "I used to hate you. I think I still do. But, I'm not sure. Why am I so fascinated by you now?"

He softly placed the frame back to its original position. Joey took great care to put it back in the _exact_ same place he found it. He wouldn't put it past Kaiba to do a complete inspection of his room to make sure everything was where it should be, down to the centimeter.

Joey made to stand up once again, and a reflection of sunlight from the window glinting off of something metallic caught his eye. He spied a small, sleek, black phone innocently sitting on the table. He blinked at it.

Kaiba's cell phone? Left at home? It was the equivalent of Kaiba removing his own head and walking around without it.

Joey picked the small device up, and could _feel_ the weight of the hundreds of dollars Kaiba must have spent on it. An evil grin wormed its way onto the blonde's face. Now then, should he place an eight hour call to Antartica, perhaps? Or maybe Australia? He smiled contently to himself, planning to extract his revenge on the brunette by wracking up thousands of dollars on the CEO's phone bill.

Business before play, however. First things first, he told himself. He quickly dialed a number he knew by heart, then listened to it ring happily as he wondered how much longer it would take before Kaiba got back.

"Motou residence," a familiar, cheerful voice greeted his ears.

Joey let out a huge sigh of relief. "Man, oh _man_, Yug'! I've never been so happy to hear your voice before!"

Joey could hear the wide, innocent smile in the abnormally short teen. "Joey!" he chirruped happily. "How have you been?" His voice took on a slightly admonishing tone. "I hope you and Kaiba are getting along. Oh, hang on. Tristan's here. He wants to say hi too." He heard Yugi's muffled voice as he told the larger teen that he could talk with Joey once he was finished.

Joey rolled his eyes with a smile as he heard Tristan give a war cry, and judging by Yugi's surprised yelp, probably did a flying leap to tackle the shorter teen to the ground and wrestle for the phone.

"Joey buddy! How's it hanging! Has Kaiba killed you yet?" came Tristan's breathless voice as he could hear Yugi muttering darkly in the background, and Yami consoling the disgruntled boy.

Joey mournfully explained about Kaiba's punishment for losing the bet. "I'm telling you, Tristan. He says I've gotta be an actual dog for a day! Like, no talking. Just barking."

"_What_!" Tristan exclaimed. "That's messed up!" Yugi could be heard in the background jumping up and down, trying to understand what, exactly, was so messed up.

Joey sweatdropped as he heard Yugi tackle Tristan down, in his world famous move that he dubbed The Tick Attack, where he would leap onto his victim's back, sending them flying from his momentum.

"Joey, tell me what happened," Yugi gasped breathlessly, but smugly for having won the phone back. After Joey laboriously explained, he begged them to help him with an escape plan.

"I can't take it here; I'm seriously going crazy! You gotta help me out. Kaiba's acting really weir—" Joey stopped, blood going ice cold, as he felt a smooth, but strong, hand grip his own that was currently holding the forbidden cell phone to his ear.

The hand freed the phone from Joey's ninja kung fu death grip, and he could still hear Yugi's voice gurgle from the ear piece. An irritated voice growled. "You must be suicidal, pup." He shut the phone with an ominous snap. And Joey thought that the innocuous sound of a phone shutting was the single most scariest thing in the world that he had ever heard.

"K-Kaiba…what are you doing here?" Joey laughed nervously, trying to act like he had every right to be lounging around in the billionaire's private bedroom.

The brunette narrowed his eyes. "I think I should be asking you the same question, mutt. Did I not tell you to stay away from my room?" Joey could see his eye twitching. This man _seriously_ had a short temper.

Joey scratched the back of his head, trying to think of a quick ingenious plan that would allow himself to smooth talk his way out of death's evil clutches. "Would you believe me if I told you that aliens abducted me and dumped me in here?"

"No."

"How about if I told you that this was actually a parallel dimension where this is my room, and yours is on the other side of the bathroom?"

"Doubtful."

"If I said that I work for the Men In Black, and this is all a figment of your imagination?"

"You watch too many sci-fi movies."

Kaiba sighed. He set a plastic bag on the bed. "Here I was, being thoughtful, getting you a present…now I don't think you deserve it. You've been a _very_ disobedient puppy today."

Joey's ears perked up at the word 'present.' And he knew that if he had a tail, it would be wagging happily in excitement. "You got me something? For real?" He paused a moment. "Are you feeling okay?"

He felt the brunette's forehead, but when said brunette started to snarl at the invasion of his personal space bubble, Joey took a step back. "Okay, I don't think you have a fever. Just had to check you know? Sooo…what is it?"

Kaiba smirked and shook his head. "I don't think you deserve it anymore."

Joey's eyes immediately sprung up giant crocodile tears and grew to enormous proportions. "Please!" Joey wailed. "Please, I really want my gift! I'll be good, I _swear_!"

He noticed a moment too late, the thick piece of heavy fabric Kaiba slipped around his neck. When he felt its presence, however, and reached up a hand to feel a foreign object that felt suspiciously like a collar attached to the leash that Kaiba was currently holding, his eyes widened in surprise before quickly narrowing to angry slits.

He then proceeded to effectively use every curse word known to mankind, and even made up a few of his own. After he was finished, twenty minutes later, Kaiba did not look very happy.

Grabbing the back of his new collar, Seto dragged Joey into the middle of his own room. "I am _not_ amused. You're going to stay up here, alone, doing absolutely _nothing_, until my headache that _you _caused me goes away."

Seto turned to leave, about to make his very dramatic exit stage right, but he barely made it a step closer to the door when he was almost bowled over by a very large, very heavy _something_ attacking and attaching to his legs.

Seto gave a very audible growl. "Get. Off. Me. Now. Mutt." He glared at the blonde hair that was attached to a body that was currently wrapped around one of his legs, making it very hard to move.

Joey pouted. "No. You are not going to leave me up here alone, as in _by myself_—" as if the CEO needed clarification to the meaning of the word,"—with nothing to do."

Kaiba closed his eyes, trying to keep his growing anger in check. "Let go of me now, before I make you let go."

Kaiba gave another sigh. Joeys were very stubborn species. He tried to take another step towards the door, but it was no use. His other leg could have been cemented to the floor, and it would have been easier to move. "Mutt, how much did you eat today? I think you need to lose some weight. You can't possibly be this difficult to move."

Joey huffed crossly and pouted. "I'm a growing boy. I need to eat to sustain all of my energy!"

Seto decided to ignore him, and continue his futile attempts to the door. He fell flat on his face. True, he was now closer to the door, but he also couldn't get back up. Somewhere in Kaiba's soul, he wept for the loss of his dignity.

Feeling something snap from all sorts of tension, which were all caused by said blonde attached to his leg, whose face was very near his upper thigh. He began to viscously shake his leg, until the blood-sucking leech that masqueraded as a human was tossed unceremoniously across the room. The blonde created a loud thud as he used the wall to stop his impromptu flight.

Joey rubbed his nose. That had really hurt. He could feel the tears building up in his eyes already. He looked at Kaiba with those large chocolate orbs, looking very much like a kicked puppy. Which, ironically, Kaiba thought that was _exactly_ what he was.

Kaiba felt his heart perform a summersault, before taking a flying leap off a cliff without a parachute that was at the top of a pit full of razor-sharp rocks that would impale the poor organ, at the pained look in those puppy-dog eyes before him. Cursing himself for his weakness that he would wait until later to analyze, he walked over to the whimpering puppy on the floor. He gave a small apologetic smile. "I'm…sorry, _mutt_." Sure, it sounded like Kaiba's molars had been ground into dust, but he was making an effort here. Sort of. "I just lost my temper. Don't be upset, okay?"

Joey continued to cry, face covered by his hands.

Kaiba began to freak out, as the foreign sensation of remorse – though Kaiba wouldn't recognize the emotion if it bit him on the nose. He just thought he was having heartburn. – began to wrap its tendrils around his heart.

"I'm really sorry, Joey! Really I am! Look, you don't have to do the dog thing, okay?" There was only a slight improvement in the blonde's sobs. He sighed. "Please stop. I'll even let you pick how we spend our day tomorrow, okay? Anything you want!"

Not lifting his head, Joey gave a loud hiccup, that sounded a little off. Around this time, Kaiba would have normally realized that something was not going right, if he wasn't suffering from what he dubbed as heartburn. "Promise?"

Kaiba eagerly nodded, even though the blonde couldn't see it. Which was probably a good thing, as an eager Kaiba is paramount to seeing one Marik Ishtar volunteering at the local soup kitchen. I.e., a sight that should send the witness running for the hills, as it could only mean the _end of the world as we know it_. "It's a promise."

Joey quickly lifted his head, bright and cheery grin covering his face, and not a trace of tears. "That's a fan_tas_tic idea, Moneybags!"

Kaiba growled menacingly, but as usual it had little to no effect on the blissfully oblivious blonde. This didn't stop Kaiba from stomping his feet in embarrassment, simultaneously obliterating Joey's every preconception of the highly poised, dignified, elegant billionaire. "You little cheat! You were faking!"

Joey didn't even look slightly abashed. "You bet! Now I don't have to be your stupid dog, _and_ I get to pick what we're doing tomorrow. It's great. I've already got a plan! Just you wait!"

The brunette narrowed his eyes. "Don't think you've got out of your leash just yet. You may not be my dog, but I can still make you wear it. Just _you_ wait."

Joey gulped, thinking again of the fifty sumo-wrestler bodyguards that were just waiting to be summoned. Hiding in the shadows, watching their blonde prey, waiting for the okay to go ahead and pounce, smooshing Joey into a not-so-yummy pancake. His look of horror, however, turned into one of glee.

"Yeah? Well, I've got all the control for tomorrow, and it's going to be one _hell_uva day. You won't even know what hit ya!"

Kaiba didn't look very sure of himself. He silently wondered to himself, for the umpteenth time that week, if Mokuba would approve if he used murder to solve his problems.

Joey patted him on the shoulder, telling him that he would take care of all the arrangements, as long as Kaiba would pay for everything. He reluctantly agreed – only because he would much rather face the doom that Joey had planned instead of the doom that would be awaiting him at the hands of Mokuba if he discovered Joey's dead corpse lying around - as long as it wasn't too much.

And when Joey happily announced where they would be going, something is Kaiba's soul broke, and he sobbed.


	10. Chapter Nine

**One Long Week**

**Chapter 9 - Day 4**

Seto sat at his desk, methodically typing on his laptop, azure eyes tiredly scanning lines and lines of data. He blinked wearily as the electronic words and numbers blurred into an incomprehensible smudge against his vision. A smudge that looked oddly like Mokuba scolding Kaiba for working too much. He had to admit, he felt so exhausted, and had no idea how long he had been working thus far, couldn't even remember when he had began.

He paused for a moment, trying to give himself the tiniest break. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to relieve some of the strain. He pushed his head to the side until it gave an audible pop, breaking the stuffy silence in his office.

He finally glanced down resolutely to resume his work, but froze once again as he heard soft footsteps pad discreetly over to his doorway.

He looked up in time to see Joey step into his office unannounced, coming to a rest inside the door frame, one arm resting on the wood above his head, the other hanging loosely to his side with one thumb tucked underneath the waistband of his pants. Kaiba tried not to look at the digit jealously. He tore his eyes away from glaring at the lucky appendage, and forced himself to concentrate back on the rest of the lanky boy who seemed to be looking at him smolderingly through half-lidded eyes. Though that could have been Kaiba's imagination, as Joey wouldn't know how to be seductive if a giant flapping book labeled Seduction for Dummies slammed itself shut on his nose.

All the same, he couldn't deny that Joey was looking rather provocative at the moment.

As Kaiba became rather lightheaded, he took a moment to restore his breathing down to normal levels. He would rather die before passing out from hyperventilation in front of the blonde teen.

After a few more seconds, he had to force his breathing to start once again as the edges of his vision began to turn dark and fuzzy. He realized that passing out from asphyxiation would be just as mortifying.

Completely unaware of Kaiba's inner battle for a healthy amount of oxygen, Joey continued to stare at the blue-eyed CEO with that same heavy-lidded stare. Kaiba resumed his own staring right back.

Joey wore baggy jeans that seemed to hug low on his waist – Kaiba had to slap himself as he struggled not to drool at the pelvic crease that could be seen peeking out of its fabric cage, although he did continue to stare at it obsessively. _That's right, Mr. Pelvic Crease, you come on out to play _– that also sported a few strategically placed tears in the denim that showed off the flawless skin of his thighs, and a blue plaid shirt that lazily draped his thin, though still muscular, frame, unbuttoned and partially tucked in on one side.

Kaiba was fully aware his gaze seemed to glue itself on the glorious, magnificent strip of toned chest that could be seen from between the two sides of the cotton fabric.

(Kaiba's hand had raised a few inches forward in an unconscious desire to run its fingers down those nicely shaped abs – oh so _very_ nice abs - but when Kaiba noticed it, he slapped it harshly back down onto the unforgiving wood of his desk, and threatened the limb with amputation. It lay limp, trembling in compliant fear.)

Golden hair reflected in the sunlight shining in slanted rays between the blinds in the office window, but was shaggier than ever before. In fact, his hair had reached an all new standard of unruliness that would make an inanimate bird's nest weep with envy. All in all, he had a rugged demeanor that was, well, _sexy_.

And Kaiba was afraid. Very, very _afraid_.

He gulped rather audibly, and forced his attention back down to the computer screen. He tried to ignore the feeling that he was acting like some juvenile grade school girl who couldn't make eye contact with her crush. Because, seriously? _Totally_ not true.

Kaiba glared daggers, but seeing as he was still currently refusing to look Joey in the eye, it was rather lost somewhere in the carpet. The dust mites under the rug quivered in fear, but Kaiba didn't care about them.

He growled. "I'm busy, mutt, can't you bother me some other time?" _Like when you have on five or more layers of clothing_, he mentally added. A soft chuckle emanated from somewhere in front of him, and Kaiba cursed it for being the single most sexiest thing to have graced his eardrums.

He heard the blonde moving, and was momentarily relieved that Joey had finally decided to leave him be to his own devices – which probably would consist of picturing the drool-worthy blonde in his mind, and then mentally undressing him - until he saw Joey's old, beat up red sneakers coming closer in his peripheral vision.

And Kaiba groaned in sexual frustration, and began to furiously punch in random words on his laptop in an attempt to pretend that he was _not_ hyper-aware of Joey's every move.

"Seto…" the silkiest voice he had ever heard purred his own name, dripping with seduction and promises of future pleasurable things. The brunette's hands faltered in their typing, blood rushed to his face, and his heart began to hammer a conga beat in his chest at a tempo that should not be possible to humans. He saw the blonde place his hand firmly on his desk, and was most likely leaning in toward him. He would not look up. He would _not_ look up. He _would not_—

He looked up.

Smoldering amber eyes burned inches in front of him with an emotion he couldn't quite place, but succeeded in making him both nervous and excited. A strange fluttering sensation – one that he figured would feel if thousands of tiny little tribal men were doing ritual dances along the lining of his spleen - found its way into the pit of his stomach. And he knew, as mortifying as it was, that he was blushing like a sissy little _girl_.

"Seto…" came the soft voice again, in a tone that made it both a question and a command. The tribal men in his spleen gave up on their gentle ritual dances, and began to furiously do an odd combination of stomping tap dancing and an Irish river dance. And the blood in his face did a u-turn and rushed south.

Seto knew his jaw was hanging open precariously, but couldn't seem to regain the motor functions in his facial muscles. All he could do was openly stare at this new side of Joey.

The blonde slowly stalked his prey, smirking in what could only be described in a predatory manner. A lion toying with his soon-to-be breakfast mouse. He circled to the same side of the desk as the brunette. As Joey approached, Seto found his legs involuntarily standing up as well. He was appalled to find his knees just the slightest bit weak. (He decided to blame it on the fact that work had turned him into an old man, and just needed a knee cap replacement surgery. It had nothing to do with Joey at all. Not _at all_.)

Joey stood directly in front of Kaiba, so close that Seto could smell his cool, minty breath – he was slightly surprised at the lack of any food on his breath, as anything slightly or possibly edible had a way of constantly being shoved into his mouth - and see the different shades of amber, honey, and gold mixed in his eyes. He had never noticed the different tones of the multifaceted eyes before.

Seto snapped out of his reverie as a warm hand came up to caress his cheek with a feather-light touch, and a thumb ran gently across his lower lip.

It was at this point that Seto stopped breathing.

He raised a questioning glance to the blonde – and if he hadn't suddenly developed some sort of strange virus that stole away his ability to make any sound, he would have put the mutt in his place. But said rare, and probably exotic, disease was currently keeping him from talking. Or breathing. He definitely was _not_ holding his breath in anticipation - just as a pair of firm, strong lips crushed against his own.

Seto's eyes widened in shock, but as the blonde's hands wrapped around his neck to nestle into his hair, his lids slid closed and he began to respond into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Joey's waist, grabbing a hold of the blonde's hips to pull him impossibly closer.

He could feel Joey smirk against him, and then the blonde nipped his lower lip that made Kaiba gasp in a most embarrassing manner. Joey took full advantage of this opening to deepen the kiss. Seto was surprised at how dominant the blonde was being – or, at least, he _would_ have been, if his brain still had the ability to string together any sort of coherent thought. But currently, his brain could only provide synonyms for "Whuddamah?" - as he was suddenly pressed up against a wall.

The pair broke for air, panting slightly. Kaiba, primary head finally having caught up with secondary head, prepared to bolt and make the getaway of his life, while simultaneously calculating the cost of living in a third world country and what he would change his name to so that he would never have to deal with this embarrassment again.

Unfortunately for the CEO, Joey prevented any plans of escape by planting a hand on the wall on either side of Kaiba's head, effectively trapping him. Seto's breath hitched as Joey leaned down to the brunette's neck with a feral gleam in his eye, and licked the slightly salty skin up to his ear lobe. Kaiba's breath sped up, his mind went blank, and a nerve twitched near the pit of his stomach as the blonde nipped the sensitive skin of the ear.

He felt Joey's hand travel from the nape of his neck slowly down to his chest. Joey let his fingertips tip-toe across the expanse of Kaiba's torso. The brunette looked down, surprised, at the contact of flesh against flesh. Where had his shirt gone?

He looked back to the blonde, only to find he was missing his shirt as well. Seto gulped again. The blonde smirked, and moved impossibly closer to grind their hips together, breathing that one word, "Seto…."

Kaiba screwed his eyes shut against the onslaught of foreign emotions inside of him – nervousness, confusion, excitement, and _lust_? - and he felt the strong hand move up toward his face again….

And felt hard knuckles rap smartly against the side of his temple in what was the furthest thing from a seductive manner. In fact, it was slightly painful, and quite a mood-killer.

Kaiba's eyes snapped open angrily, to find the same amber eyes in front of him, though the only emotion in them now was curiosity, concern, and an expression that clearly showed he was questioning the mental stability of the brunette underneath him.

Somewhere in the back of Kaiba's mind that was not fully caught up in the outrage that Joey was not still furiously kissing him, and had the audacity to _hit_ him in the side of his head, he vaguely registered the thought, _Just when did Joey get on top of me? We were standing up two seconds ago…_

As the rest of Kaiba's brain slowly caught up with this thought, the brunette frantically looked around him, to find himself not in his office, but in bed. The silky bed sheets were tangled up around his legs, making it completely impossible to move. Although, that may also be due to the large, blonde body currently sitting on his stomach, disregarding the fact that the CEO's lungs were slowly being crushed.

"Um, Kaiba, you alright? You look kinda freaked or something," the same voice from earlier asked, though it didn't hold its seductive tone anymore.

And Kaiba _almost_ asked Joey to continue to talk sexily to him, but fortunately managed to catch himself in time. Had he spoke without thinking, he would have fully succeeded in convincing Joey that he had lost his marbles, and would be committed into the nearest loony bin. So it is a very good thing that Kaiba held his tongue.

Kaiba continued to look frantically around, trying to comprehend what, exactly, was going on. _Had he just kissed_—

No, it couldn't be. It wasn't possible. Should Joey and Seto have _really_ kissed, it would not have been Joey making the moves. If anyone were to be the domineering one, it would surely be _him_. Seto Kaiba was _nobody's_ sex toy.

Kaiba's eyes widened as he realized what he had just thought. Maybe he really _had_ lost his marbles. He shook his head, trying to erase the horrifying thought from his memory. It wouldn't happen _at all_, he firmly corrected himself.

Kaiba returned to the present, and assessed the situation in a calm, cool, calculating manner.

Kaiba would like it to be known that who ever is starting those rumors that he looked up at Joey with an adorably cute pout on his face, and asked what the fuck just happened, will be hunted down and killed in a slow, brutal manner. Because it was a lie. _Really_.

And in a small, pocket dimension far away from Kaiba's grasp, one authoress laughs in her computer's face.

Back to Kaiba's calm, cool, calculating assessment, that did _not_ involve Joey wondering what Kaiba meant by what the fuck just happened, because he had just only woken up and nothing had yet happened that day.

Kaiba was lying in bed, in the blue pajamas he had managed to wrench back from the blonde – though it had taken a good deal of effort and bribery and cunning on Kaiba's part. (At least, this is what he _wants_ you to think. What really happened was that he snuck into Joey's room after he fell asleep secret agent style – which he was getting really good at – and stole them back. Like candy from a baby.) - who was sitting on his bed, fully dressed in faded jeans with a worn out knee and a hunter green t-shirt.

Kaiba thought morosely that he missed the unbuttoned shirt tucked partially in. Or, more accurately, he just missed those _abs_.

Though, the sneakers were the same from earlier. But they hadn't been as seductive as the rest of his attire.

Seto Kaiba came to the conclusion that he must have had yet another dream, though this one was by far the most realistic one he had had so far. He could still taste the blonde in his mouth, and could still smell the shampoo of his hair. Though the latter might have been from real life, since said blonde was still rather close to him, still crushing precious oxygen out of his lungs. Kaiba took a moment to choke out for the mutt to get off him before he died of suffocation.

_Speaking of which, how the hell did he get in here? _

Kaiba was _sure_ he had locked his door, not wanting another late night encounter with the living form of the star player in his dreams, both innocent and, uh, not-so-innocent. Only two people had the key to his room, and Joey was most certainly _not_ one of them. In fact, the only two people were himself and his adorable, baby brother, who would never _ever_ do something as devious and manipulative as letting Joey in there.

Kaiba glanced toward the door leading to the hallway, and sure enough, a smug looking Mokuba stood there, winking at him and giving him the thumbs up while sending not-so-discreet glances at Joey and then back to Kaiba. And Kaiba decided that Mokuba would only be allowed to watch television shows that were suitable for infants less than six months old. Because, _obviously_ cable had rotted Mokuba's brain and turned him into a demonic little brat with delusions of playing Cupid with his dearest older brother.

Which, really, would _totally_ never happen. Especially not with Joey. Like, _ever_.

And reader's everywhere will fold their arms and nod their heads in a superior manner, as they recognize the symptoms of Kaiba suffering from one of the oldest tricks in the book for romantic stories: Denial.

Kaiba growled at Joey like the entire situation was his fault. Which, it kind of was, though Joey was just unaware how much effect his dream-self could have on the brunette.

"What did I tell you yesterday about coming into my room? Do you really want out of here so badly you'd consider death? Because I swear to all things good and holy that I will _murder_ you if you do not leave this room in less than three seconds."

Joey stuck his lower lip out in a pout that could rival Mokuba's. Kaiba tried not to stare at it directly, because it had special powers. Like causing the cold, dark void in his chest to sprout a heart. Kaiba watched Joey warily from the corner of his squinted eyes.

"But Kaiba! You promised yesterday! Don't you remember? Today is _my_ day, where you have to do _everything_ I say." Joey chirped in what he thought was a sing-song voice, but Kaiba could only think of it as a voice of temptation.

Joey's statement caused Kaiba's mind to come up with several images, all of which paralleled that of his dream, and can not be described to readers under the age of 18, unless they have adult supervision with a written consent form and at least three forms of identification.

Kaiba's blue eyes widened again in horror as he felt himself start to become aroused. Desperate to get the other two away from him –Mokuba, because of his innocence, and Joey because, well, like _hell_ he was going to explain _this_ to him - he hurriedly told them to meet him downstairs so he could shower and get ready. You know, the quicker he got ready, the quicker they could leave, right? He didn't even think to remember the cruel and unusual punishment that Joey had thought up for him as their entire day. If he had, he would have hung himself with the shower curtain and saved himself a whole lot of trouble.

He breathed a quick sigh of relief as the two left without a word of protest –in fact, they ran out as fast as their little legs could carry them (though Joey managed somehow to trip on thin air and land flat on his face, before scrambling up again to dash out the door and slam it shut behind him) so they could leave all the sooner - mentally patting himself on the back for getting out of a potentially sticky situation without the two catching onto his '_problem_.'

As soon as his door closed, however, he could hear the two burst into demonic fits of laughter. Kaiba's face burned red, vowing not to get Mokuba anything for Christmas and to kill Joey as soon as possible, as he glared at the closed door. Apparently his thoughts of the clumsy mutt, or more specifically, his _reaction_ to said M-rated thoughts, weren't as discreet as he had hoped.

Kaiba flopped back down on to the bed and pressed his pillow on top of his face. He wondered how long it would take him to put himself out of his misery and suffocate.

But then Joey knocked on the bedroom door and yelled for Kaiba to hurry up and take his cold shower to take care of his _business_ – and it was here that Kaiba groaned in degrading shame - so that they could hurry up and leave.

Walking to the bathroom to take said cold shower, he hung his head in humiliation. Ever since that damn mutt came into his personal life, he was rapidly losing every shred of dignity he owned.

To think, the great, powerful Kaiba empire, destroyed by one clumsy blonde mutt with great abs. And Kaiba groaned again and turned the water on to full icy blast.

One quick shower, sixty-seven taunts and jeers, and one torturous hour long drive later found the great Seto Kaiba staring in open horror at what, in his opinion, could only be an awful nightmare. He tried to stop his mouth from hanging open in slack-jawed fear, but to no avail. This was just a horrible dream that he would wake up from at any second, right? _Right_?

He pinched himself in a hopeful manner, but flinched as his skin cells yelled in abused agony. Well, so much for his dream theory.

This couldn't be happening. Not to him. He was the owner of a multi-billion dollar company, damn it. He could create fear in the hearts of the biggest testosterone-filled body builder just by executing a perfect, fully patented Kaiba Glare. He could make drug lord crime bosses run away screaming for their mommies – though Kaiba had never quite had the opportunity to test this one out, but he figured that would be what would happen should he ever one day have such a chance – just by raising one perfect, elegant eyebrow.

But this…_this_ was out of his league. The brunette gulped in worry, thinking the unthinkable: Seto Kaiba could _not_ handle this.

He spun around on his heel to stalk away in a dignified, determined manner that would _never_ be able to be described as running away in cowardly fear, but Joey wrapped an arm around the taller teen's neck, dragging him back to the boundary line that divided the safe haven of the parking lot from the premises of what he could only describe to be hell on earth.

The bright, blinking lights overhead winked cheerfully at him in a sporadic manner. He glared back. The lights kept winking all-too-happily. Kaiba intensified his glare tenfold, and the poor bulb burst into a thousand shattered pieces in a shower of sparks.

Kaiba tried to console himself by telling him he had at least won a blinking contest with a light bulb. The little feat of glory, however, was not enough to overshadow his future fate. A quick shake of the head brought him back to the present.

"You're kidding me," Kaiba deadpanned. "Of all the places you could have gone, you pick one of the dirtiest, disease-ridden places on earth." He paused a moment, then sneered over at Joey. "Although, I do suppose I can see why a mutt like you would like it."

And Kaiba's heart despaired for the loss of Mokuba's dignity as the young boy chose that exact moment to holler in excitement at the prospect of riding all the germ-infested attractions, and ran ahead. Had Kaiba taught the boy _nothing?_ This all happened in the span of about 0.37 seconds, and the mop of raven hair was gone before Kaiba could grab him back and have him disinfected for all the cooties he could have gotten just by _looking_ at the fair.

Joey looked back at Kaiba in surprise. "What are you talking about? Haven't you ever been to a fair before?" Kaiba stared blankly at Joey. "They're lots of fun!" he cried, defending the fair's honor. Kaiba _hmph_'ed and turned to face ahead instead of at the blonde.

Judging by the Glare of Death Kaiba was currently giving the poor ticket seller in her closet of a ticket booth – who, rightfully so, was looking like she wished she worked anywhere else but there as she tried to blend in with the rotted wood that made up her confinement - Kaiba had never been to a fair before.

Joey grinned.

Sure, it was kind of an evil grin that promised numerable laughs at Kaiba's future expense, but it was still a smile. Well, that just made this experience all the more enjoyable.

An eager – and hyper, Kaiba noted with a sigh, and decided to forbid Joey from even _looking_ at Mokuba's sugary cereal - blonde grabbed Kaiba's hand and pulled him through the entrance, completely unaware of the slight tinge of pink splashed across the brunette's face.

The duo walked through the fairgrounds, Joey shining and bubbling and bouncing with anticipation, dragging a revolted, sulking, and pouting Seto, and hoping that Mokuba didn't get himself into too much trouble.

Kaiba glared darkly at his surroundings. This place was _not_ _sanitary_. It was going to give Mokuba unspeakable diseases. He would need at least a hundred thousand vaccine shots. He would have to emergency rush him to the doctor as soon as this horrible escapade was finished. But by then it would be too late, and he would be _dead_ because there were _no cures_ for the diseases here.

Not watching where he was going, he felt a body nudge into his. He was about to yell at the person who dared to touched him, but found his vocal chords shriveling up in disgust and fear as he looked at who had invaded his personal space.

His blue eyes widened in horror as a wrinkly lady with too much makeup eyed him up and down hungrily. Just looking at her made Kaiba feel like he had been molested. She looked like she hadn't bathed in at least a week, and Kaiba was sure he could spot something green, furry, and – _holy shit!_ - _sentient_ in between two of her teeth. She smiled at Kaiba in a predatory manner, but all he could think about was the parasitic _thing_ that was taking over her mouth.

"Hey there, cutie."

Oh fuck, it _talked_. Kaiba squeaked.

The lady licked her lips in a hungry manner that made Kaiba feel a need to scrub down his entire body with a wire brush until his skin was so raw it bled.

She winked. Kaiba scooted closer to Joey for protection.

Or, if need be, use him as his human meat shield and throw him to the proverbial lions as he ran away wailing about contagious cooties.

The blonde, who was completely unaware as Kaiba was close to being kidnapped and raped by a talking hippo with green alien amebas in her mouth, blushed slightly as Kaiba was suddenly pressed up against him. Being the lovable, dense idiot he is, Joey could only explain his suddenly hot face on the sun only needing five minutes to burn his skin to a crisp. Or give him skin cancer.

The shorter teen's heart beat just a little faster, and Joey gave a slight cough. Kaiba blinked and, as if suddenly realizing who he was so close to, quickly jumped away.

There was a terse silence between the two boys, and each silently agreed to forget the moment had ever happened.

It would have been an awkward walk through the fair, if Mokuba hadn't immediately popped out of nowhere. Kaiba frowned pensively as he eyed the massive armfuls of sweets that Mokuba was hugging to himself covetously.

Seeing Kaiba about to launch into a lecture about cavities and the necessity to floss one's teeth – which Mokuba wasn't buying for one second, as he never had any cavities and, unbeknownst to Kaiba, the little rug rat had his own underground candy smuggling ring, with Joey as his main supplier. All in exchange for blackmail material, of course - quickly suggested that they ride the Ferris Wheel. To get Kaiba used to the rides, he added with a solemn nod, as if he had only the best intentions for his brother. They couldn't have his first ride be a 100 foot tall rollercoaster with 18 loops and a nearly 90 degree drop. Baby steps, you know.

Joey asked why not, completely ignoring as Kaiba's face turned puce green at the thought of such a ride. After all, Joey would be perfectly fine with riding that particular roller coaster all day long.

Joey looked at Kaiba, in hopes of maybe a nod of agreement. Joey tilted his head to the side at the look of the taller teen's face, and asked Kaiba if maybe he was having a heat stroke, because he looked a little ill. Then he suggested riding said roller coaster, to help get him some air in his face.

Kaiba's color worsened.

Joey donned an evil grin in realization, and made a mental note to force Kaiba onto it.

After standing in line for about 45 seconds – though Kaiba was sure it was eternity. He didn't know if he could bear the blonde's incessant jabbering for another second - it was their turn to go onto the ferris wheel. Judging by the fact that they were one of three couples to get onto the ride, it obviously it was not the most popular attraction in the fair.

Joey stared at the little cart. And blinked. It was tiny—obviously made for couples who didn't mind having their hips mashed together. Three was _definitely_ going to be a crowd on this one. He mentally shrugged. He'd just catch the next one. It wasn't like he would enjoy mashing his hips with Kaiba anyway.

It was at this exact moment that Mokuba decided that the 19.3 sodas he had already consumed were interfering with his bodily functions.

"I really need to pee, Seto," Mokuba whined loudly while tugging on his brother's shirt sleeve. This, of course, grabbed the attention of every person within a twenty foot radius.

"All right, Mokuba. Let's go," Seto smiled at the smaller Kaiba, grabbing his hand to escort him to the restroom safely, away from any prying hands of nearby lurking pedophiles.

"Oh _no_, Big Brother, that's ok. I don't want to ruin your _fair experience_." Kaiba raised an eyebrow, as if to say, _Are you kidding me? I'll do anything to get out of this torture_. "You two go on ahead without me." The raven haired kid grinned impishly at the brunette, who was beginning to eye him rather suspiciously. Mokuba made an extra effort to make his smile seem more innocent.

If Kaiba didn't know better, he would think Mokuba was up to something. And readers everywhere will sigh in exasperation as we all know that Mokuba is _always_ up to something.

Kaiba looked at the small cart - which would cause the two teens to sit hip-to-hip in a very cramped fashion, unless one volunteered to sit on the other's lap which would be even _more_ uncomfortable, though in a different fashion - then back at Mokuba. "I think I'd rather walk you there," he said hurriedly, and rather pointedly, while his voice squeaked ever so slightly, much to his chagrin.

But Mokuba would have none of it. He pushed his brother and Joey up to the cart, with much more force than would be expected of a twelve year old and more akin to a bulldozer. And though the CEO put up a decent fight – of which many tourists would get pictures of and sell to the nearest tabloid. Later, Kaiba would choke on his morning coffee as he spotted a picture of himself attempting to push the younger Kaiba off of him, with a big bold headline of "Child Abuse?" over the picture. Even later after that, Kaiba would issue a lawsuit and add a few more millions to his wealth - after a good few minutes, Joey and Kaiba were sitting snugly together in a tiny Ferris Wheel cart, riding up to the top like a young couple in love.

Except for the couple in love part, of course.

The two teens were staring out of their respective windows, sitting together in comfortable, companionable silence. The two did not fight, bicker, or make any death threats to each other for the duration of the whole ride.

Now, please stop to imagine this scenario. Think about how life would be if something like that should happen. Then snort and laugh, for it is an impossible lie that none of you should have believed at all.

"Will you stop squirming, mutt? I don't want your flea infested hide within at least two inches of my person," Kaiba hissed.

Joey hissed right back. "Well, if you didn't have such large child-rearing hips, I wouldn't be forced to be squished between them and this stupid metal railing." He used his bony hip bone to push against the brunette as if to emphasize his point.

"_Child-rearing hips?!"_

"That's right, Moneybags. Now stop hogging all the space and _move over_."

And Mokuba, safely on the ground watching the spectacle, sighed, embarrassed as the entire fair could hear their antics.

As they got to the top, Kaiba and Joey were both sulking in their temporary truce. Kaiba looked over the side of the cart and thought vaguely to himself that it was a shame he couldn't see his house from here – he also made a mental note to remedy that by making it even bigger - but he'd rather be safe on the ground.

Then the cart gave a violent lurch forward. Kaiba instantly flexed his arms and legs, bracing himself against the small, insubstantial walls around him. If he had any claws, they would have been deployed in an effort to help secure himself to the small little cage that inspectors seemed to have deemed safe. _It wasn't very safe_.

Kaiba make a note to himself to make sure any inspectors were all fired.

"Hey, look at this Kaiba!" Joey's insanely thrilled voice called out to him, as the cart tipped again. Kaiba, who was holding onto the side wall as if his precious life depended on it, slowly, jerkily, turned his head toward the blonde, in time to see the idiot teen rock the cart another time for good measure.

Joey whooped out a cheer. "This makes the ride so much better!" Kaiba stared blankly at him. No, Joey couldn't be that stupid. He just _couldn't_. Could he?

Joey rocked the cart again.

He could.

"Stop moving!" Kaiba ground out, molars a fine powder by now. "This cart isn't made for your idiotic antics. _So stop it right now or I will __**cut**__ you_."

Joey stopped for a few moments. Gee, Kaiba sounded pretty tense right there. He looked a little bit tense too, what with the clutching to the wall with his arms – and how did Kaiba manage to wrap his leg around it like _that? _Wow, talk about _flexibility_ – and the vein throbbing angrily out of his forehead. And looking like he was going to strangle the poor blonde at any second. What did he do now? Joey tried to think about his actions thus far, and couldn't come up with anything wrong.

An idea came to the blonde. He tried to hide the twitching of his lips that gave away the fact he was trying not to smile at the thought. "You're not scared of heights, are you, Kaiba?" Joey tilted his head to the side, giving Seto's cheek a slight poke.

Kaiba began to twitch violently, as he always did when the blonde was particularly annoying. "Of course not, you dolt! I just don't enjoy the thought of falling fifty feet to my impending doom. Now, _stop rocking the cart!_"

Joey took a moment to wipe his face clean of the bits of gunk that had flown from Kaiba's mouth during his screaming tirade.

Now there were five veins sticking out in Kaiba's forehead. Joey felt a strong urge to poke them, but resisted as the look on Kaiba's face clearly said _if-you-so-much-as-move-another-inch-I-will-gladly-skin-you-alive-then-flay-you-to-an-inch-of-your-life-and-then-I-will-beat-you-__**past**__-that-inch-and-then-I-will-throw-your-pathetic-skinless-corpse-out-of-this-stupid-cart-myself._

That, or Kaiba had some pretty bad indigestion. But since he had made that bet about Kaiba being a robot – and Joey knew his bets were _never_ wrong - he was pretty sure that it was impossible for Kaiba to get indigestion.

So, Joey stopped rocking the cart. Which really ruined the experience, if you asked him.

"Come on, Kaiba, it wasn't that bad." Joey hurried after Kaiba to catch up with the teen who seemed quite intent on stalking away as fast as possible to get away from the blonde.

"You almost got us kicked out of the fair," Kaiba growled, shooting ocular fire over his shoulder, hoping it would slow Joey down just a bit.

Joey was unfazed. "Aw, he was just kidding about that." He chuckled to himself and scratched his head sheepishly.

Kaiba finally stopped in his tracks, ignoring how Joey came to a crashing halt into his back. "He was a _security guard_, he was holding you by the _collar of your shirt_, he was in the process of _hauling your ass to the parking lot_. How is that joking?" Kaiba folded his arms crossly, and stared a challenge at Joey to refute his point.

Joey just continued to grin cheerily. "Not everybody has as little sense of humor as you."

Kaiba rolled his eyes, turning around to stalk away some more. "You're just lucky I paid him off. I'm a hundred dollars poorer. We're sticking to the games now."

"'S not like you need the money anyway," Joey grumbled to himself, dutifully following the brunette. Seto closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten.

Mokuba walked beside the bickering duo, snickering lightly, and chewing happily on his fifth cotton candy. Okay, so the Ferris Wheel ride hadn't turned out to be as romantic as he had planned.

In fact, when the attendants had seen Joey up there rocking, they instantly freaked out and cut the ride short, bringing them back down. Along with calling the Security Guards to escort them off of the premises. Joey had seemed quite put out.

Kaiba was secretly relieved. He was _not_ fond of heights and was eager for any opportunity to leave the God forsaken fair.

So why had he paid off the rent-a-cop to let them stay? Well, Kaiba wasn't too sure of that himself, but he had an annoying feeling that it had something to do with blonde puppies and their adorable little pouts.

Now that they were allowed back within the park, the brunette had insisted that they play games for a while, mentally wishing that he wouldn't have to endure anymore rides for the rest of eternity and beyond.

They walked around for a while, trying to enjoy the sight seeing. Although, it was a little harder for Kaiba as he kept spotting the lady with too much makeup and green teeth following them.

But, overall, Kaiba had to admit that it wasn't too bad so far. He had yet to catch leprosy or some other such communicable disease, and Joey had even talked him into eating half of his caramel apple. Kaiba had tried not to blush at the thought of sharing Joey-germs, only to fail, and was surprised at how _delicious_ the treat was. He looked over at Joey who was now happily slurping away at an ice cream cone, and Kaiba smiled softly to himself. No, the fair was not too bad at all.

They walked by a particular booth that had fluffy teddy bears of all colors and sizes staring at them. Joey stopped in his tracks and eyed a particular one that had extra fluffy brown fur, with a bright blue bow on it with shiny blue glass beads for eyes. He wasn't quite sure why, but it just stood out to him. He liked it.

Joey chased after the CEO who had not noticed Joey stop for the few moments.

"Hey, Kaiba," Joey tugged on the brunette's shirt sleeve, not unlike how Mokuba had done earlier. When Kaiba tried to ignore him, he forcibly dragged him by his collar back to the gaming booth, ignoring all squawks of indignation.

He pointed out the bear that he wanted, and asked to borrow a few dollars to play the game. Kaiba followed Joey's finger to look at the bear that he was pointing to, before setting a slightly weirded out look on the blonde. That bear…reminded him a lot of himself. And Joey wanted it? The thought brought a weird fluttering sensation to his stomach.

Misreading Kaiba's look, and thinking he was just being his usual cheap bastard self, Joey instantly turned on the puppy-dog eyes to full blast. He threw himself down at Kaiba's feet, ignoring all the disgusting, questionable substances littering the ground, and begged. "Please, please, please, please! I'll pay you back, I _swear_!" he lied. He really wanted that bear, dammit!

Kaiba merely rolled his eyes and forked over a twenty. That ought to keep Joey occupied for a little while. Kaiba, still smirking, wandered off to spend his newfound irritation-less time in peaceful solitude.

Twenty minutes and forty dollars later – Joey had to come crawling back to Kaiba to ask for yet another twenty. Once again seeing Joey on his knees in front of him, Kaiba hastily handed it over just to get Joey out of that position that left him feeling quite compromised - Joey was pissed.

He still hadn't won that bear, because he hadn't managed to throw his ball into any of the stupid little floating cups. If he managed to hit the right one, the bear would be his. Joey cursed the rigged games. If he had just thrown that ball at _just_ the right angle, he would be holding onto his highly coveted prize right about now. He had briefly considered asking Kaiba for some more money, but felt guilty. That bear wasn't really worth all the money he had blown trying to get it.

After losing for what must have been the hundredth time, Joey ducked his head and walked dejectedly away. Kaiba stared after him, surprised. (He felt slightly disconcerted as he ended up spending his precious solitude not five feet away from the blonde watching him play his silly games.) He had decided not to try his luck, as the blonde was rapidly blowing all of his money.

But seeing Joey walk away like a puppy with his tail between his legs…Kaiba sighed, and fingered through his wallet. He pulled out five more dollars and walked up to the booth. He was really becoming a softie. And it was all his pup's fault.

Joey walked away to the nearest food vendor, kicking vindictively at innocent stray pieces of trash. He wasn't sure why he wanted the stuffed bear so much. It just really appealed to him.

He mentally kicked himself for acting like such a little kid in front of Kaiba. _Way to be uncool_. Mokuba followed him to a picnic bench. Joey looked over his shoulder, and was surprised not to see the CEO behind him. Kaiba hadn't come after him. What a _jerk_. He flopped himself dejectedly onto a picnic bench. Mokuba smiled at Joey, and decided to console the pouting blonde with a triple scoop of chocolate ice cream.

By the time he and Mokuba had each finished their ice cream (courtesy of Kaiba's money that Mokuba had discreetly snatched off him) Joey felt his mood rise considerably. He looked around and noticed that the brunette asswipe still hadn't come back. Joey made a mental note to shave off his eyebrows in his sleep in retaliation. It had been almost half an hour since he had stormed off.

Just where did the brunette have to go that was more important than _right here_ with Joey?

And Mokuba, he added hastily, as his previous thought sounded way too intimate than he was comfortable with.

Just as he decided to get up and look for Kaiba so that he could extract his vengeance, he felt said jerk plop next to him on the bench. He turned around to yell at Kaiba for being a heartless bastard who didn't even have to decency to buy him a consolatory ice cream himself, but didn't have a chance. He was suddenly presented with a fluffy _thing_ shoved into his face.

"Here," came the decidedly uncomfortable voice of the one and only Seto Kaiba from next to him.

Joey accepted the furry gift, pulling it back so that it was no longer obstructing his airway, and looked at it. Then his jaw dropped as he stared at it in astonishment. The bear smiled cutely back, blue bow and glass eyes and all. He slowly turned to gape at Seto with every intention of asking if he had murdered the poor booth attendant just to get the bear – Joey wouldn't have been surprised – but stopped when he saw that Kaiba was undeniably red in the face. How cute.

Kaiba quickly looked away, uncomfortable. He wasn't good at things like this. He cleared his throat in an attempt to dislodge the gigantic boulder that somehow had founds its way into his trachea. "Well, you know, if you wanted it that badly, all you had to do was ask me, and I would have used my obviously superior gaming skills to win it." He folded his arms in a defensive gesture, and glared in the opposite direction.

Joey wasn't sure whether to strangle him, or give him a bear hug. Seeing that Kaiba was already looking like he would rather melt into the bench than make eye contact, he decided to just smile and murmur a quiet "Thanks."

Kaiba chanced a quick glance at Joey, whose smile was so bright yet unsure of what to do. He felt the small tribal men return and rampage at full force in his stomach, but couldn't help a small smile from forming on his face. The small blush on Joey's face at seeing his own smile, he decided, made dying from awful fair-diseases worth it. And, with any luck, he had a strong enough immunity system to protect him from at least half of the nameless horrors.

As the three walked back to the car in the darkening twilight, Kaiba smiled slightly to himself as he and Joey walked closely together, their shoulders bumping into each other every now and again.

And he couldn't help a small feeling of hope, and something else he wasn't ready to name, in his chest as he watched Joey tightly hugging the bear to his chest the entire ride home.

God, he was becoming such a sap.


	11. Chapter Ten

**One Long Week**

**Day 5**

"I'm bored," Joey announced at the breakfast table. Although, _announced_ may not be the correct word in this sentence, as Joey's proclamation was more of a long, drawn-out whine that sounded more akin to a keening dog with vocal cancer than a human. Joey made sure that this was _exactly_ what his voice would sound like, taking care to get just the _right_ pitch, with the express purpose of trying to be as obnoxiously annoying as humanly possible.

He wasn't quite sure yet if it was working. Kaiba always seemed to be annoyed with Joey's existence in general, but guessing by the fact that there were not more than five veins popping out of his head in what could only be described as apoplectic fury, he wasn't annoyed _enough_. Not for Joey's taste, at least. Which always tends to be slightly suicidal, when one considers the source.

After all, taunting one Seto Kaiba early in the morning is a very dangerous feat. In fact, the life expectancy for surviving jumping out of an airplane five miles above where the earth's atmosphere ends and there is no supply of vital oxygen, with no Acme parachute, only to land in a canyon full of horrible, sharp, pokey cacti while one Wile E. Coyote watches on with a grimace of empathy is much higher than if one were to interrupt said Seto Kaiba while reading his morning newspaper.

Luckily for Joey, he was far too thick-headed for Kaiba's glare of death to actually _work_. However, the lack of Joey writhing on the ground in obvious misery resulted in Kaiba resorting to more desperate measures.

Joey was only saved from a brutal death via a candlestick in the kitchen as Mokuba just happened to walk by at that most inopportune moment (Kaiba, reluctantly putting the blunt metal object back to its original resting place, had taken a moment to sulkily ponder whether the smaller boy was taking extra precautions to ensure nothing…_accidental_…befell the poor, hapless blonde) and gave a fierce glare to his older brother as if to warn him the horrors he would conjure should the elder Kaiba do anything that would displease the younger Kaiba. I.e., killing his new toy, Joey.

And in that single stare, Kaiba saw all the terrible things that Mokuba's wrath would bring, and the powerful, mighty, fearless CEO, who had been known to regularly laugh at death in the face and beat the grim reaper in poker every third Tuesday of the month, whimpered in terror.

Mokuba suddenly grinned, giving Kaiba whiplash from looking at the change of facial expressions that took place at the speed of light, to inform his big brother that he would be over at a friend's house until late afternoon and would be home later.

And then Mokuba glared again, giving Kaiba a permanent crick in his neck that would require serious physical therapy for several months to get rid of, and growled that the two boys had better _play nice_.

And Kaiba had never been so proud of Mokuba for pulling off such a beautiful, magnificent, _perfect_ Kaiba glare.

But then Kaiba remembered the glare was directed at him, and stifled a sob.

Then Mokuba grinned again – Kaiba wished with a groan, feeling paralysis creeping into his vertebrae, that Mokuba would stop _doing_ that – and skipped off, out of the mansion to leave Kaiba and Joey to their selves.

If Mokuba hadn't been so scary, it would have been Joey's death sentence, as the blonde boy immediately went into convulsions against the table, complaining once more of the lack of anything to do.

But as it were, Kaiba rather valued his life, and tried extra hard not to induce bodily harm to the shorter teen. Kaiba couldn't help but grumble to himself that Mokuba had better be grateful that Joey was still alive, because it was taking a _lot_ of effort.

"That's nice," Kaiba drawled in response to Joey's fourteenth declaration of boredom in the last ten minutes, trying to not really pay any attention. This was made more difficult as Joey began to paw listlessly at Kaiba's shirt sleeve in a plea for attention. The brunette discreetly shifted his chair a couple of inches in the opposite direction. "Now shut up."

The blonde pouted, and let his head fall to the table surface with a pathetic thump. He rolled onto one cheek to look up at the brunette, as if his state of bored-ness had sapped him of all energy. Which was a lie, because if this didn't work, he had a twenty pound bag of pocky, and was fully prepared to submit himself into a coma-inducing sugar high, and start jumping around, climbing up the walls, and hanging from the ceiling fans if necessary to get his way. But for now, he would stick with his high pitched keening that _had_ to be making Kaiba's eardrums bleed. It was only a matter of time before he _had_ to give in.

"But I'm really, _really_ _**booored**_." Kaiba's eye twitched in irritation, but gave no other indication that he had heard the blonde's griping.

Joey huffed from his head's position of lying on the wooden table. Kaiba hoped, rather vindictively, that his cheek would get splinters. This would be impossible, of course, because being Kaiba's table, it was nothing short of perfect, and was far too smooth to even dream of giving anyone a splinter. But Kaiba continued to hope anyway.

The blue-eyed CEO grunted in misdirected irritation at the table for not obeying his wish, turning a page of his morning newspaper – which, as of yet, had not been mutilated, torn, or burst in spontaneous combustion. _Yet_. It was really only a matter of time – in what he hoped was a calm manner that did not give away the annoyance coursing through his very veins. He was really hoping that the theory of ignoring him would make him just go away would work. Unfortunately for Kaiba, Joey was the exception to this rule. In fact, he was the exception to any rule where logic was concerned.

And so, Joey continued his whining, and Kaiba's anger continued to grow. Which, really, was not very good for the medical state of anyone within a twenty mile radius.

Realizing that the brunette was merely making noncommittal sounds to appease his whining, Joey puffed out his cheeks in an attempt to prepare for full-blast annoying complaints like the world had never seen. The Guinness Book of World Records would later be contacted to inform them of the new owner of the Most Annoying In The World award.

"Seeeeeet_oooooooo_," Joey carried the name out until he had used up every last oxygen molecule in his lungs, and then continued when he no longer had any breath with which to whine. The resulting sound was so horrible, if it was not obvious that the blonde was, unfortunately, in perfect health, Kaiba would have thought that he was being tortured.

The brunette paused for a moment at the ease with which Joey used to say his first name, glancing surreptitiously at the blonde out of the corner of his eye. He tried to repress the shiver it sent up his spine in what was not exactly an unpleasant feeling. Ever since the two had come back from the fair the night before, Joey had taken to calling him Seto instead of Kaiba.

Seto wasn't quite sure what he should make of that. He tried to examine the side effects he displayed after hearing Joey call him _Seto_, which Joey had done a grand total of thirty-seven times so far. Every single time, his face turned an unhealthy shade of red and grew unusually warm and his heart beat a little faster, occasionally stumbling over itself and even missing some beats – Kaiba thought, pouting elegantly (the readers may be wondering if it is even possible to pout elegantly. Well, Kaiba will be happy, in a manner of speaking as happy is not a state of being that the CEO is familiar with, to demonstrate that it is.) that if his heart were an employee, he would have fired it for its lack in efficiency around Joey.

He wasn't sure if the organ's stuttering was at the unfamiliarity of someone being close enough to call him something so intimate without the fear of a miserable life of eternal unemployment as punishment, or if it was another emotion entirely…an emotion that he wasn't sure that he was entirely prepared to face.

So lost in his thoughts, Kaiba didn't even see the tan hand waving energetically in front of his face. He didn't even hear the amused sigh erupt from just a scant foot away.

"…really bad at listening to me, you know that?" Kaiba jumped slightly as his puppy's voice finally managed to bring him back to reality. The blonde had obviously realized that Kaiba was not paying the slightest bit of attention to Joey's one-sided conversation, and was now sitting patiently (for Joey, at least. Which is to say that his patience was decimated in the time it took Joey to blink), watching the brunette for any sign of returning to the present.

Kaiba looked at Joey blankly, who didn't seem to be at all upset that he wasn't being paid the due attention. In fact, the blonde was sporting a rugged, amused smile that really brought out a certain attractiveness to his face. The way it was lopsided, and caused a dimple in one cheek, was strangely very becoming…

Kaiba's eyes widened at the thought and the calm, collected CEO had to struggle not to physically slap himself to stop that thought in its tracks. These forbidden thoughts were becoming more and more frequent. He was beginning to worry about himself, and question his own mental stability.

A small Mokuba-angel – robe, harp and all - appeared on his shoulder and began to chastise the elder Kaiba on how an over-bearing work schedule could lead to a break in his mental health. Kaiba gave the tiny apparition a level stare, as if to point out that he was being scolded by a hallucination of his brother in a white _dress_. _Obviously_ he was way past a break in his mental health. The celestial Mokuba nodded solemnly, as if to concede Kaiba's point, and decided it was a lost cause. This guy was _way_ beyond help. With a grimace of sympathy, the small angel wished him luck and disappeared. This did not mitigate Kaiba's fears about his debatable mental stability.

But back to _why_, exactly, one world-prestigious, multi-billionaire CEO is contemplating committing himself into the nearest loony bin.

The entire car ride home last night had left him feeling happier than he had felt in a long time, longer than he wanted to admit, and the fact that it had less to do with the fact he was leaving the awful fair germs far behind and more to do with the content blonde next to him cuddling his teddy bear was just the slightest bit frightening.

And then - as if the Fates had put all three of their heads together to see if they could come up with anything worse than finding Joey snuggling a bear _endearing_ - when they had walked down the hall to retire for the night, Kaiba had, in an oddly sweet move that he would always deny and never be able to explain to himself, lingered at Joey's doorway for no other reason than to say good-night, a very uncharacteristic move for him.

But worst of all: Kaiba had realized he had an inexplicable, but nevertheless very strong, urge to kiss the blonde. Even if it was just on the cheek, Kaiba found himself wanted to just lean over, look into those chocolate eyes and…

This was the point where Kaiba really started to freak out. Now, if he had wanted to just ravish him and take advantage of the smaller boy, Kaiba would have found some sort of convoluted way to prove (read: lie) that the act had been just another way to demonstrate that he was the puppy's master. That it all had been a part of his plan to prove his obvious superiority. He probably could have come up with an established mathematical equation that somehow involved quantum mechanics and the theory on black holes, along with a PowerPoint presentation with snappy little animations to further augment his argument.

As it was, however, Kaiba did _not_ want to just ravish him. He wanted something much more innocent, sweet, and therefore much more dangerous. He could perfectly imagine himself leaning hesitantly over the blonde, softly caressing his cheek, and kissing him ever so gently. Kaiba blanched. This did not bode well. This did not bode well _at all_.

It was at that moment that Kaiba had realized just how big and beautiful and _close_ Joey's eyes were. It took a minute for his brain to catch up to what was going on – it had been quite distracted by a certain blonde's lower lip being ravished between said blonde's teeth and _wow_, look at that gorgeous tongue darting out to lick his lips – but when Kaiba realized his head had moved towards the blonde's on its own accord, he quickly jumped away muttering some pathetic excuse – Kaiba would later be mortified that he couldn't come up with a better reason than his mumbled pretext about needing to go scrub toilets or something. Toilets! He was a billionaire. He didn't _scrub_ _toilets_ - and scampered to his own room as fast as his feet would carry him.

It was embarrassing. He did not scamper. He just wasn't a scampering kind of guy. Stomping, sure. Prowling, oh yeah. Scampering, not so much. He was a _Kaiba_. Running away wasn't even in his vocabulary. Yet there he had been, collapsing against his doorway, panting from adrenaline and fear of his own feelings.

It did not help matters very much when the ever-oblivious Joey had crossed through the joint bathroom and into Kaiba's bedroom unannounced. The taller teen realized the blonde was curious as to why he had taken off so quickly – though a small (and correct) part of him suspected that Joey didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to see Kaiba doing bathroom chores and obtain perfectly good blackmail material - but he hadn't been in the mood to deal with it, and had bodily thrown him back into his own room before slamming the door shut. And pushing the desk against the door to act as a barricade against the onslaught that was Joey. As an afterthought, he added the nightstand too. And then the dresser, for good measure.

Back to the present at the kitchen table, Joey was still watching Kaiba with an odd glint in his eye. Well, judging from the amused manner of the blonde right now, at least he didn't seem to be offended by Kaiba's hasty actions last night. Horrifyingly enough, he knew enough about himself to know he would have felt terribly guilty if he had hurt Joey's feelings.

_Why_ this was the case, however, Kaiba refused to let it be anything other than a mystery. He was _not_ going to delve further into it. But he knew it to be true: less than a week ago he would have been proud of himself for causing such suffering to his pup. But now…he swallowed. But, no. He was not going to dwell on such thoughts.

Meanwhile, Joey rested his head in the palm of his hand and watched Seto with mild curiosity. The taller teen had seemed really out of it since last night, when he gave Joey the bear he had wanted so badly. He had a feeling that it was best to let him sort out his thoughts, and not interrupt. He had tried to interrogate the brunette before, but after receiving the patented Kaiba Death Glare, something held him back. Like his sense of self-preservation. He liked his head where it was, thank you very much.

But even more than the state of his physical intactness, he wondered if Seto was okay. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't really want him to worry. Which was odd, because he really loved nothing more than to push the brunette's buttons to beyond the brink of insanity.

Of course, Joey has the attention span of a goldfish with attention deficit disorder, and the patience of a puppy with a small bladder waiting to be let out into the yard, and so after three seconds he decided it was time to bug Kaiba again. He paused for the briefest moments – How to go about annoying Seto? So many methods, so little time – then decided the best tactic would be a sharp poke to the ribs, which he executed immediately and flawlessly.

The quick jab to the brunette's abused side not only caused him to jump out of his skin, but also to give a bark of laughter (no dog puns intended) involuntarily. Kaiba quickly clamped his mouth shut with an audible snap, hoping the blonde did not realize his one true weakness: The richest, most powerful CEO in the world was, in fact, incredibly ticklish. Beyond ticklish, in fact. His Achilles heel. One feather-soft touch to the sole of his foot and he would crumble. Damn his oversensitive nerves.

Chancing a quick glance at the blonde, and seeing an evil grin worse than the devil himself – or even scarier, worse than Bakura on a murder-happy spree - he slowly backed up a few steps, hands up in the universal sign for _'I'm unarmed. If you attack me you _will _be convicted in a court of law._' For every step Kaiba took backwards, Joey took one closer. Upon reaching the doorway out of the kitchen, Seto put his long legs to good use and quickly dashed away in a sprint, knowing fully well that the now cackling blonde was only a step or two behind him.

Kaiba made it into the living room, slowing down for a second to run around the couch, feeling déjà vu as he claimed it as his sanctuary once again (Go back to Day 1 if you don't remember), hoping to use it as a barrier between him and the currently deranged blonde.

The large furniture obstruction, however, meant nothing to a blonde on a Torture Kaiba Mission. Instead of dashing around it, like any normal, _sane_ person would do, he took a full running leap _over_ the sofa and landed squarely on Kaiba's chest – Joey would later revel at the satisfactory sound of all oxygen leaving Kaiba's airways - knocking the both of them to the ground. Without a moment's pause, Joey used his weight to help keep the brunette pinned beneath him and quickly began to run his fingers up and down the CEO's sides, causing Seto to burst into guffaws of laughter.

Joey's hands faltered for the smallest fraction of a second. He was so unused to hearing Seto laugh that it almost seemed foreign to his ears, like his brain couldn't match the image of Seto smiling with the sound that was vibrating around his eardrums. But nevertheless, Kaiba _was_ laughing, and Joey's heart skipped a beat. He could feel his cheeks heat up just the slightest bit, and he couldn't help but wonder why he was acting so _weird_, like he was feeling feverish. He quickly decided that Kaiba must have given him food poisoning, the asshole, and it was beginning to affect his body. Joey made a mental note to glue all of Kaiba's belongings to the ceiling in retaliation.

In the second it took for Joey to pause in his tickling tirade and contemplate the best antidote for whatever poison Kaiba could have used, Kaiba quickly turned the tables around and flipped Joey over onto his back, effectively trapping the blonde beneath him. Kaiba smirked at Joey in triumph. He could see the surprise in those large, amber eyes, and Kaiba couldn't help but think that his doe eyes were…cute, actually.

He shook his head to clear his mind of unbidden thoughts, and vehemently needed a distraction. He silently hoped that Joey was ticklish so that Joey wouldn't notice that his increased breathing had less to do with tickling and more to do with the fact that Joey was right beneath him, separated only by a few scant millimeters of cloth...

And this train of thought was _not_ conducive to his distraction plan. Then he chastised himself; that kind of thought was not conducive to _anything_. It would lead only to a world where everything was bad, bad, _bad_. Although, maybe being bad with Joey wouldn't _be_ so bad…

No, no, this was not where he wanted his thoughts to be heading to. Back to distracting himself. Yeah. Back to hoping Joey shared his own Achilles heel. Implementing his long fingers in feather-light touches on Joey's sides, he quickly found out Joey had the same weakness.

And thus began the tickling wars to end all tickling wars. A tickling war like the world has never seen! To spare readers the bloody, gory details, we'll just say that casualties included every inanimate object in the room, and somewhere along the line a few smoke grenades and a cake mixer may or may not have been involved. And Kaiba took a moment to be grateful that the millions of dollars he had spent on those self-activating, pump action robotic nun-chucks with target homing features were worth every penny.

After the smoke cleared, the two were very exhausted and panting. Kaiba had won the match, of course, and was still on top of the blonde. Joey's face was red from all the laughing, and his crooked grin remained plastered to his face. Kaiba couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his own face. And then he noticed something rather strange.

Joey's face suddenly grew slightly redder than before, his breath hitched just a tiny bit, and thanks to their close proximity, he could feel the blonde's heart skip a beat. He also noticed Joey's brows furrow together ever so slightly in a faint look of confusion. Kaiba wondered if his puppy was having as mixed emotions as he was.

Joey was, in fact, having mixed emotions. However, being the observant-as-a-pile-of-rocks kind of guy that he is, instead of having the mind-blowing revelation about his deep, inner feelings of love for Kaiba that all the readers want him to have, he blamed it on the rat poison flowing through his veins that he just knew Kaiba had dumped into his food. It was the only explanation. He wasn't sure what was going on with him, but it could only be the result of some nefarious scheme the brunette had hatched up. Why else would he suddenly be thinking that Seto was incredibly hot right now? It also occurred to him at that very same moment that he was still under the brunette, and quickly scrambled to his own feet, blushing all the while.

Unfortunately for a certain CEO, in Joey's haste to get up, he managed to ram his forehead into Kaiba's nose. The blonde slapped a hand to his forehead where he was sure the front of his skull had been shattered, and stuttered an apology, mentally cursing himself for being so clumsy in front of Seto.

Wait, when did he start caring about what the jerk thought of him? He should be _congratulating_ himself, and hoping he broke Kaiba's stupid, hot nose. But he still looked up worriedly into the taller teen's face, and mentally sighed with relief that his face was still maddeningly perfect. And he relaxed even more when Kaiba didn't look like he was about to immediately murder Joey. So he couldn't think he was _too_ much of an idiot.

He paused to think for a moment. He wasn't quite sure when it had happened, but it was undeniable: Joey Wheeler cared about what Seto Kaiba thought of him.

Weird. What kind of drug had Kaiba put in his food?

Speaking of food, his stomach took that moment announce to the world that it was hungry and needed nourishment at this very moment, lest it unleash an unspeakable evil to befall the world that would inevitably bring about the next ice age. Or maybe not. Maybe it was just bored and wanted Joey to do something entertaining. Joey had a very hard time deciphering the many meanings of his stomach's growls. He had bet Tristan twenty bucks that his stomach could help him predict earthquakes. One day when he was supposed to be taking a math test, he had announced that the school needed to evacuate due to an oncoming seismic force. He found out the next day he was just getting the stomach flu, but that didn't stop the principle from giving him a month of detention. But at least he had gotten the class out of the math test. That was all that mattered, anyways. Besides the fact that he had lost his twenty bucks.

Joey's stomach growled again in a very menacing fashion, as if to warn the blonde that its patience was wearing thin. Hmm. What did the stomach want? Food, or something to cure its boredom? Food or boredom?

At that moment, Joey came up with an idea to kill two birds with one stone. "Seto, let's bake something!" he exclaimed, grabbing onto Kaiba's arm in excitement at the prospect, as though he had come up with some magnificent suggestion.

Seto blinked down at his wrist, which both of Joey's hands were wrapped around, and forced back a slight blush, then slowly raised his eyes and graced him with a blank stare. "You do realize that I can just summon up a cook to do that for you if you're hungry, right?"

Joey realized that he had yet to see a single maid or butler or cook, but he wouldn't put it past the CEO to have all of his employees trained as super secret ninja maids. That way when people came in to steal all sorts of juicy Kaiba secrets, such as Kaiba being very ticklish, in an attempt to blackmail him and take over the company (which, Joey would hurriedly say while coughing suspiciously, he would never attempt. Ever. Cause that would be, like, immoral and stuff. Joey would then look around shiftily in a very unconvincing manner.), the brunette could have one of his cleaning ladies take out the unsuspecting burglar with an evil frying pan of doom.

He asked Kaiba if this was true (Not that he was wanting to know this information to his benefit, Joey would insist, while he was most definitely _not_ gathering said blackmail. Because Joey had _standards_. And he was _totally_ above using Kaiba's ticklishness to his own personal gain. Really. Joey would then gulp nervously while continuing to deny everything). Kaiba told Joey he was an idiot for even thinking such a ridiculous notion.

Joey narrowed his eyes at Kaiba's lie. He knew better. He decided that for legal purposes, Kaiba had to deny the obvious. It was probably illegal to have super secret ninja maids, and Kaiba couldn't admit to their existence. That was why they stayed hidden all day. Joey congratulated himself for his smart detective work, and then jotted down some notes that were suspiciously titled "Plans to Break Into Kaiba Mansion and Blackmail Kaiba and Take Over Company To Get Back At Bastard."

(Joey would later chuckle in a manner that suggested he was feeling really uncomfortable with all of this suspicion of him, then retort that despite the misleading title, his notes were actually on, uh…bringing world peace to the Vietcong. Yeah, that's it. World peace. Totally. Nothing suspicious about that. Joey patted himself on the back.)

Returning to the conversation at hand concerning Kaiba's maids, who were "_allegedly"_ not super secret ninjas, Joey looked at Kaiba like he was an idiot, which was certainly ironic as it was usually the other way around. "Seto, you can't have someone else bake something for you. It goes against everything that is holy about all that is sweet and yummy. It's only good if you make it yourself. _We_ can make cookies!" Joey posed with a wide grin with his thumb up and confetti rained from the heavens.

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "You know how to bake?" he asked incredulously. "I guess you _can_ teach an old dog new tricks."

Joey decided to ignore his comment for the sake of being allowed to use the kitchen, though his smile looked kind of forced, and the confetti shriveled a little bit in dejection. His eye twitched slightly as he forced himself to not leap at the CEO in a homicidal rage. He figured throttling Kaiba might not be the best way to get in his good graces, and he really wanted those cookies now. He mentally patted himself on the back at his brilliant deduction. Kaiba + Murder = No Cookies. He was a regular Sherlock Holmes.

Kaiba looked decidedly less enthused than Joey. "You _do_ realize that Mokuba is over at a friend's house today, and that he won't be here to help eat the cookies. A lot of them will go to waste," Kaiba tried to find an excuse to get out of baking. Joey gave him a level stare that plainly said Kaiba was an idiot. Celestial Mokuba popped in by Kaiba's ear to agree with Joey's stare, and disappeared again in a puff of smoke.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's right. I forgot I was talking to the world-renowned human garbage disposal. My mistake." He made sure to exaggerate his sarcasm. He had a feeling that it would just bounce off of the blonde's thick skull.

Sure enough, Joey puffed out his chest in pride, and seemed to be quite proud of the fact that he could eat almost anything, edible or not. Kaiba sighed, deciding it was a hopeless cause.

A few minutes later, filled with lots of under-the-breath grumbling from Kaiba that sounded suspiciously like not wanting to get food poisoning from Joey's lack of baking skills, and the pair was now standing back in the kitchen. Joey realized he had never really taken a good look at Kaiba's kitchen appliances.

He should have known, him being Moneybags and all, that Kaiba would have bought the most expensive, high-tech oven known to all of mankind. Five hundred years of technology advancement probably could not produce a more superior oven. It looked like something out of a futuristic space movie. Joey even took a moment to ponder the possibility of whether or not Kaiba could have bought it from an alien race with better baking technologies than Earth. It had way to many knobs and levers to have been made by humans. He couldn't even locate the power button to get the thing started!

Kaiba smirked, watching the smaller teen from behind, as Joey narrowed his eyes at large piece of machinery to inspect it further. His smirk grew as Joey apparently did not like what he saw and crossed his index fingers to create a cross. The blonde muttered something that sounded like _Satan_. "Come on, pup. Haven't you ever seen an oven before?" He couldn't help himself; how he loved to tease Joey!

Joey growled, giving a quick glare to Kaiba, and then faced the oven. He put his hands on his hips and stared down at it. He was not about to be outsmarted by anything that made girly little cupcakes, and pushed a button that looked like it _might_ turn on the heat. Or bring about a nuclear apocalypse. It was a 50-50 chance.

"Good morning, Mr. Kaiba," an automated voice sounded as robotic arms sprouted forth from the appliance. Joey yelped and dove behind Kaiba, only daring to peek one eye out over the brunette's shoulder at the evil incarnate. There was no way he was going to forfeit his soul to that thing!

Joey felt a pleasant vibrating from Kaiba's torso as the taller teen chuckled in amusement. Kaiba placed his arm around the blonde and gently forced him to walk up to the oven. Joey eyed it suspiciously while silently wishing he had some holy water with which to vanquish the evil spirit within. As if reading Joey's thoughts, Kaiba chuckled again. The brunette looked at the oven, and _shook one of the robotic hands_. Joey's jaw dropped.

Seemingly unfazed by Joey's horror, Kaiba smiled pleasantly at the oven – Joey took a moment to appreciate the irony that Kaiba could only smile pleasantly at something that wasn't even alive – and greeted the appliance. "Good morning, Oven. My guest and I would like to bake cookies, please, if it wouldn't trouble you too much." It seemed to work, as the oven replied that it would begin preheating immediately.

Joey was officially freaked, and wondered where the closest exorcist would be. Seeing as Joey lived in the nicest neighborhood in the country, it probably wouldn't be anywhere close.

Feeling a tingling sensation on his shoulder, Joey looked down to realize that Kaiba's hand was still lingering there. He blushed slightly.

Sensing Joey's gaze, Seto looked down to realize this as well and slowly removed his hand, though it seemed to linger for a couple seconds longer than necessary. Joey felt his heart thump somewhere in his esophagus.

Hastily clearing his throat, Kaiba mentioned not making the oven wait, since it didn't have the greatest of patience. Joey gave Kaiba a deadpan glare, as if to Kaiba to go back over that sentence and try to figure out what was wrong with that thought. Kaiba glared back, as if to say that he didn't see how anything was out of the ordinary. Joey sighed, and conceded that nothing was normal or ordinary when Kaiba was involved.

Getting back to the baking, Kaiba got all of the ingredients from the various storages in the kitchen. (Kaiba told Joey to get off his lazy butt and get the ingredients himself; it was his idea, after all. Joey then proceeded to explain that because Kaiba's kitchen was large enough to fit a third world country inside, it would take weeks to find everything, and then they would have to give up trying to bake cookies, as they would have starved to death. Kaiba asked how that was a bad idea; Joey's cookies couldn't be any better than the slow agonizing death of withering away. Joey threw a spoon at his face and Celestial Mokuba popped in to glare admonishingly at his brother before disappearing once again. Feeling outnumbered, Kaiba sulked and got the ingredients.)

Kaiba sat down at the table, his part in the baking complete, content with watching Joey work diligently at trying to measure out all of the ingredients. He took the time to try to figure out what exactly it was about Joey that was causing his feelings to run so wildly rampant.

He unconsciously smiled a small, almost invisible smile, watching that mop of blonde hair fall in front of Joey's chocolate eyes, which were currently squinting in determined concentration at getting exactly the right amount of sugar. Then that smile turned into a roll of the eyes as he realized Joey was counting out every granule. The fact that he could spend so much time measuring, and yet couldn't be bothered to complete a single assignment at school, amused him.

Joey's tongue peeked out from the corner of his mouth, as if it would aid in making the perfect cookie. Seto found himself staring at Joey's mouth, at his lips, at his tongue. He felt his face grow warm, and tugged on the collar of his shirt. He began to feel that urge to kiss him again. Maybe staying here was a bad idea. He should just blow the whole thing off and storm up to his office. He didn't need to deal with this…

"Um…Seto?" Joey's voice interrupted his thoughts. "I think I messed something up." Seto jumped slightly. How long had he been thinking? He gave his head a quick, violent shake and got up to inspect the batter. He blinked and was surprised to find it very runny, instead of the thick dough that he should have been viewing. The oven took a moment to point out that the dough did not seem to have the right consistency. Kaiba nodded vaguely in agreement. How on earth could Joey have possibly messed up chocolate chip cookies?

He then noticed the cups of flour sitting forlorn and forgotten besides the mixing bowl. Kaiba's eyebrow twitched. Really now, who forgets the flour? Remembering Mokuba's threat earlier, he decided to gently tell Joey of his mistake and not make a big deal of it.

"You complete idiot! You forgot the flour. Who _does_ that? Really now! No wonder your cookies are an absolute _ruin_! It's because dogs just can't cook. We would have been better off if we'd had Yami try it."

Joey winced slightly. That was just rude. He couldn't have been _that_ bad at baking to have deserved being compared with Yami. Last time the Pharaoh had tried to cook, flammable liquids, a lawnmower and a misuse of the toaster had been involved. The fire department had to be called, and to this day the Pharaoh refused to explain exactly just what had happened, only that he had a craving for scrambled eggs.

No one really believed this as there were no eggs to be found anywhere. Joey suspected that Yami had ended up banishing them to the Shadow Realm with his Mind Crush, but nobody believed him. He had a lot of money riding on his theory being correct but Tristan refused to acknowledge Joey's victory in the bet due to a lack of evidence. Every now and then he contemplated paying Marik to use his Millennium Rod to prove it, but figured Yugi wouldn't approve. So he just had to console himself with the knowledge that he secretly knew the truth. His bets were always right, after all.

Joey growled at Kaiba. He'd just have to show that jerk! He was the best baker there ever was! He picked up one of the cups of flour in a regretful impulse and threw it at the pristine brunette. After the white cloud had settled, there was a brief second of pure silence before Joey burst into laughter. He gripped his ribs with one hand while the other was slapping against his knee. The look of pure shock on an entirely white Seto was simply too funny.

This, of course, resulted in said brunette taking another cup of flour and tossing it on his golden mop of hair. White eyelashes batted against white cheeks as Joey blinked in surprise. That was unexpected. Kaiba smirked while his eyes glittered in triumphant mischief. "There, now we're even."

Joey quickly picked up the bowl of soupy dough batter, brandishing his newly found weapon. "Don't test me, Moneybags. I'm heavily armed and I'm not afraid to use it." Kaiba's eyes widened, as he began to back away, holding his hands up in universal sign for surrender. Joey wouldn't have that, and with a wicked grin took a particularly large handful of the goop and threw it in his face.

Kaiba stood still for a moment, and took a moment to wonder how often would he find his face in sticky, gooey substances that were best not described? He then gave his best death glare at Joey, who, in his defense, did suddenly look very regretful and began to take a few steps backwards. Seto was too quick though, and lunged at Joey as another wrestling match ensued. Soon, the pair were covered in flour, dough, and chocolate chips. The tussle only stopped when the two realized there was only one handful left in the bowl, and Joey currently had possession of it. The blonde quickly jumped out of arm's reach and gripped the bowl protectively to his chest while jutting his chin out at Kaiba in defiance.

Kaiba donned a predatory grin. So that was how he wanted to play it, huh? Kaiba's grin grew wider. He slowly stalked towards Joey. "Alright, pup, fun's over now. Give me the bowl, and I promise your punishment won't be too bad." Kaiba was practically purring, but that didn't seem to make Joey want to relinquish his hold on the batter.

Joey took a step back for each step that Seto took forward. After a number of steps, however, his back hit the refrigerator. Joey's eyes widened as he looked around for escape, but all he could see were blue eyes. He looked up at the towering brunette above him. He gripped the bowl tighter. He would fight to the death, dammit!

Kaiba placed a hand on either side of Joey's head, effectively trapping him, and leaned his head down to that their noses were only a few centimeters apart. Joey was looking up at him with those large, determined eyes of his. They were blazing with a playful fire in them, and Seto felt butterflies rampage in the pit of his stomach and his breath catch in his throat. A drip of the batter was sliding down the blonde's cheek, towards his chin. Without thinking, Kaiba slowly brought his thumb to travel lightly across Joey's bottom lip, and then up to catch slowly moving drip. Joey made a small noise in the back of his throat as Kaiba stuck his thumb into his mouth, never breaking eye contact with the blonde.

Joey's eyes grew large, but didn't do anything to protest. Kaiba felt a small swelling of hope. He just kept looking at him with those large, beautiful, confused eyes that were asking that silent question that he was asking himself.

The next thing he knew, Kaiba was crushing his lips against the blonde's, catching the small gasp of surprise. One hand was firmly gripping the side of Joey's face, exploring every curve and plane of his soft skin, the other wrapped around the small of his back, effectively trapping him there, clutching him as close to him as possible.

Joey had frozen. What exactly was happening? Let's back up just a moment here. His brain took a few moments to register what went on in the last few seconds. Since when did cookies mean permission to kiss him? Why was Seto doing this? Why wasn't _he_ doing anything to stop it? Why did it feel…good? Why did he want to just close his eyes and lean further in?

Seto began to worry. It had been at least ten seconds already, and Joey hadn't moved a muscle. He began to feel silly, standing there kissing someone who wasn't responding in a positive or negative way. But he didn't move away. Something told him that if he stopped kissing the blonde, he would lose that small spark of hope that had ignited and grown in him over the past day and a half.

Just when Kaiba began to realize it wasn't going to happen, Joey's eyes slid shut and his arms suddenly sprang to life and entangled themselves at the base of his neck in his chestnut hair. Kaiba sighed in more relief that he had expected. Finally! A response, Kaiba mentally cheered. His hand traveled up Joey's back to come to a rest just beneath his shoulder blade, and Joey gave a barely audible moan and leaned in just a fraction of an inch closer. Seto gently nibbled Joey's lower lip, causing the blonde to gasp slightly. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue into Joey's warm mouth, and Kaiba had never felt anything so _wonderful_. Joey fiercely kissed him back.

They broke apart for air and Kaiba kissed down Joey's neck with a feather-light touch, relishing the feeling of Joey's quickened breath in his ear as he leaned his head back to give Kaiba more room. His fingers teased their way under Joey's shirt, tracing along the smooth toned skin underneath. Joey immediately began to unbutton Seto's shirt, staring at Kaiba with an intense blaze in his eyes that made his heart pound and set fire to his veins. Within five seconds, both shirts were gone and Kaiba was kissing Joey's collarbone with his leg forcing its way between Joey's.

Both teens were panting and moaning, and just when Kaiba dipped his hands beneath Joey's waistband to feel up Joey's butt, a large crash sounded just a few feet away. And just like that, Kaiba's little world of happy sloppy kisses shattered. Both teens jumped and looked over to see a very red Mokuba who decidedly not making eye contact with anyone but the floor and very obviously wishing he wasn't there standing in the kitchen entryway, having dropped a small plate that appeared to have once had food on it.

"I-I'm sorry, I came home a little e-early and thought you guys would like some of the brownies we made. Um, I'm really, _really_ sorry…but d-don't mine me. Uh, have fun, I'll be upstairs." With that, the embarrassed Mokuba disappeared, having dashed up the stairs.

Joey's eyes widened in shock and slowly dawning horror. Just what had happened? He was kissing Kaiba, feeling him up, and then…and then…. He stopped in mid-thought. Wait a second, he had kissed Seto Kaiba! His heart froze. He looked to Kaiba, who was watching him as one might watch an unstable psychotic that might explode, or as one might watch Marik in a crowd of defenseless innocents. His brain began to shut down with so many thoughts and questions pounding against his skull. It had felt good he had to admit, and he was shocked and horrified to find himself regretting that it had ended. But it was Kaiba! His life-long enemy! It was too much. Just too much. He had to think. He had to get out of here.

Without another word, Joey pushed his way past Kaiba and dashed out of the mansion, slamming the door open, feet pounding hard against the pavement. He needed to sort out his feelings without a hot, distracting CEO in front of him. And just the fact that he found Kaiba to be hot and distracting was another problem he was going to have to sort out. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be real!

Kaiba stood back in the kitchen, still in shock. Had that really happened? Was he dreaming again? His mouth was tingling, along with any inch of skin that Joey had touched. It _had_ happened. It was _real_. Kaiba fought hard to suppress a giggle worthy only of girls in middle school. He brought a hand up to his lips, and felt a smile there. Not just one of those tiny, barely-there smiles that Kaiba reserved only for his baby brother. A real, true happy grin. He shook his head, chuckling at the impossibility of it all. Who would have thought it: The stoic Seto Kaiba had fallen for the obnoxious Joey Wheeler.

With the grin still on his face, he quickly grabbed his coat and ran out the still open front door, intent on retrieving his puppy.

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1/18/09 - Okay! There's the new, revamped chapters! I'm working on the next chapter now, so I'll have it up as soon as I can! (Don't worry folks, I swear I won't wait two years this time! :D ) Anyways, if you've liked this version better than the last one, or if you're a new reader and just got a good laugh out of it, please review and let me know!


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